


Fools Who Fell Behind

by LtTanyaBoone



Category: NCIS
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2012-06-27
Packaged: 2017-11-15 03:56:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 41,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtTanyaBoone/pseuds/LtTanyaBoone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McGiva episode tags to the episodes of Season 9.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 9x01 tag

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I decided to write McGiva episode tags set in an AR where they are a couple, to every episode and put them into one place.  
> The M-Rating is because of the tag to 9x20 The Missionary Position. Everything else is rated T.

_Disclaimers:_ NCIS, the rights to the show and its characters do not belong to me. No money was made by this. The title is from a line in the song "Shimmer" by Fuel, I don't own that either.  
 _Spoilers:_ EVERYTHING. including new episodes  
 _Pairing:_ Ziva David/Timothy McGee romantic pairing [McGiva]

* * *

...she says that love is for fools who fall behind...  
 ** _~ Shimmer_** by _Fuel_  


* * *

She is warm. And very comfortable. A little tired. Exhausted, maybe. But in a good way.

Ziva shifts her legs, the satin sheets brushing against her naked skin, the limbs colliding with those of the person she is sharing a bed with. She smiles and presses her face into his smooth chest, eyes still closed as she feels Tim stir under her.

"Hngh." he mutters, letting go of her hand to raise his to his face to rub his eyes as his other strokes down her naked back. Ziva pulls her arm closer to wrap around his waist as she snuggles closer. In the few months they have semi-officially been a couple, she got used to waking up next to him.

A cell phone chimes from somewhere on the floor where their clothing has been thrown away carelessly. Ziva groans, rubbing her nose against Tim's skin.

"Go 'way." she mutters to whoever dares calling one of them at this ungodly hour. She feels Tim chuckle beneath her before he scoots up slightly, reaching for his watch on the nightstand and turning on the lamp. Ziva groans and rolls away from him, hiding her face underneath a pillow briefly before she comes out from under it, rubbing her eyes and yawning before sitting up slightly, holding the sheet to her.

"What's it time?" she asks, frowning, shaking her head.

"0443." Tim answers, yawning. He pulls the sheet away and already has his legs out the bed when the ringing ceases and he freezes. He turns to look at her, raising an eyebrow.

"Huh." he mutters, running a hand through his hair. "Was that yours or mine?" he asks her and she rolls her eyes at the question.

"You insisted on setting both our phones to the same ringtones, in case we accidentally switched them." she reminds him and he actually looks sorry for a second before he shrugs and gets back into bed.

"Can't be important if they stop calling." he decides, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close, his nose brushing hers. "Morning." he mutters and she brushes her lips over his.

"Morning yourself." Ziva whispers, tangling her legs with his again. "So, wanna go back to sleep?" she tries for nonchalant and knows it failed when she sees his large grin and feels his lips on hers again, his tongue darting out. Just as she's about to roll them over and for things to get interesting, the ringing starts again, this time coming from the living room. They both freeze in what they're doing, looking at each other.

"We're not on call, are we?" Tim asks her, his voice rising an octave and she feels herself flushing.

"I have no idea." she stammers. A second passes before they both scramble out of bed, Tim picking up his clothes and dressing as she races into the living room to find her purse and her cell phone.

"Shit shit shit!" Tim's voice sounds from the bedroom and he hobbles to her, showing her his cell and 7 missed calls from their boss. Ziva glances down at hers and feels like digging a hole for her body already when she sees the 6 missed calls and the caller id of Gibbs flashing brightly.

"David." she answers, trying to make herself sound sleepy, as if he just woke her up and she isn't feeling her heart beat at a hundred miles an hour. Hearing his words, her blood runs cold.

"What happened?" she asks, sinking down on the couch, not caring that she's not wearing anything. Tim stands, staring at her in confusion that slowly turns to worry.

"No, I… I don't know." she lies through her teeth, reaching for Tim's hand and squeezing it tightly. "I want to come. No, Gibbs, he is my partner, he needs-"  
Ziva deflates, looking away from him. He catches her profile and sees her blinking rapidly. "Okay." she whispers. "Call me when there's anything new?" she asks and then hangs up, drawing a shaky breath. Tim gently runs his hand through her hair, waiting.

"Tony was shot." she starts and he suddenly feels lightheaded.

"Oh my God." is all he can whisper as she looks up at him, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

"He's fine, he was wearing a vest, but they found a bloody NCIS badge on him and didn't know if it was one of us, so Gibbs tried calling. Tony can't remember what happened, Gibbs and Cranston are trying to figure it out with him." Ziva tells him, her bottom lip trembling.

"Hey, I'm sure he's gonna be fine. He's Tony, nothing can get him down." Tim tells her and she nods but rests her head against his stomach still, her shoulders shaking. He can feel the moisture from her tears and wishes he could take the worry from her, but knows he can't.

The cell phone in his hand starts ringing and he picks up the call, already knowing who it is.

"Yeah boss?" he answers, running his hand through Ziva's hair and trying to comfort her while he listens to Gibbs repeating what he already told Ziva minutes before.

"Do you want me at the hospital?" Tim asks, thinking he knows the answer already.

_"No. You take care of Ziva, tell her it's gonna be okay. And that we'll discuss rule twelve when DiNozzo's got his memory back."_ his boss says before the dial-tone greets Tim's stunned silence. But when Ziva looks up at him with bleary eyes and tear-stained cheeks, he decides it's best to do what his boss told him, to take care of her. She doesn't need to worry about Gibbs knowing about them when she is already beside herself with the news about Tony. So he gently tugs her to her feet and steers her back into the bedroom, dropping his pants again when she crawls into bed. She snuggles into him immediately and he covers them, gently rubbing circles on her back until she falls asleep again while he is left pondering their dilemma.

Ever since she became an agent and Tony took a rain check for the wetting down and he went out with Ziva and Abby and Palmer, they got closer. It was then that he finally acknowledged the feelings he has for her to himself and decided that, since she wasn't going away any more, that he could stop fighting them and just live with them, seeing as she had a boyfriend, albeit an absent one. Yet he watched as she got worried and then angry at Ray's continued absence and his prolonged silence. It wasn't until four weeks after she originally became a full NCIS Special Agent that he found her in the park he takes Jethro to, sitting on a park bench and staring off into space. When he approached her and saw the tears on her cheeks, she had admitted that she had ended things with Ray. He had contacted her, finally, if only to tell her to stop writing him e-mails and she had blown up. They got into a huge fight and, as Ziva claimed, all of a sudden she hadn't known what had possessed her to remain with him for so long, how she could overlook his shortcomings for almost a year.

Tim had taken her to dinner that day, just to cheer her up, and that had turned into them cooking with each other regularly, drinking wine, eating delicious food - at least when Ziva prepared it, he was still trying to get the hang of it- and talking. Lots and lots of talking. Somewhere down the line, he must have made a comment too many, and she had figured out what he was really feeling for her. To his surprise, she hadn't put him into his place, hadn't told him that they could only be friends, but instead asked him that they take it slow. Which kinda went out the window after another two weeks. Ever since then, they have been around each other pretty much all the time, at work and at home, and he can't remember how he spent his evenings without her around. And now he's in bed, her naked and asleep while he is worrying not just about their partner, but about what will happen if their boss tells them that they cannot be a couple while working for him.


	2. filler up to 9x02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a filler for the time between 9x01 and 9x02 that explains where Tim got his new lock picking skills from...

"Come on, you know I suck at this." Tim groans when Ziva locks his cell phone into the box and hands him the lock picking tools.

"That's why you need to learn. And what better way to learn than with some motivation, yes?" she grins at him and produces her own cell phone, hitting a few keys. They both hear Tim's give a soft chime inside the box and he raises an eyebrow at her.

"What did you send?" he asks her and her dark eyes sparkle with mischief.

"Remember those pictures Tony took a while ago? That I made you delete?" she smiles at him as Tim starts gaping. "Let's say, I'm wearing less in these."

Fifteen minutes later, he's ready to throw the lockbox across the room. Ziva has managed to end up in his lap and is doing her best to distract him while he is still trying to open the damn box and get to the pictures, the threat of Gibbs calling and him not being able to answer looming over him.

"That tickles." he reminds Ziva when she nibbles on his earlobe and pulls up his shoulder in a half-hearted attempt to shake her off.

"I am getting bored, Timothy." she breathes into his ear and he feels goose bumps break out on his skin.

"Yeah, well, you could always hand me the key." he turns to her and she shrugs.

"I believe in a reward system. If I started rewarding you for not accomplishing things, where would that lead?"

"To more sex?" he suggests, trying to steal a kiss but Ziva breaks it before it can go any further than that.

"Uh-huh. More working, less talking." she nudges him, looking at the box pointedly and he starts working on it again. Only now she's starting to trail kisses from his neck to his jaw and his concentration is completely shattered.

"Ziva…" he groans and she just reaches over and turns his wrist slightly, causing the tool to change its angle and the box to finally open. Tim throws down the tools and grabs her hips, kissing her again and this time, Ziva returns his passion.

"See." she mutters between kisses. "Doesn't that feel better, now that you earned it?"

"Uh-huh." he agrees, standing and carrying her off to the bedroom to collect his reward.

* * *

_I'm aware of metal boxes interfering with cell phone reception, just go with it._


	3. 9x02 tag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This needs a **trigger warning for discussion of bullying.**

She feels him watching her while she's cutting up the fruit for the salad. When she feels his eyes on her yet again, she finally looks up and raises an eyebrow at him. Tim just gives her a sheepish grin before returning to cutting the meat, jumping slightly when she takes the knife from his hands and shoves the rice into them.

"What-"

"Burning sounds better than losing a finger, doesn't it?" she asks him pointedly and he sighs, turning to the stove and getting out a pot.  
"Where you bullied at school?" he suddenly asks her when he has turned on the flame and Ziva almost chokes on the piece of apple she snatched from the salad, coughing loudly.

"What?" she breathes out, trying to catch her breath after Tim hits her on the back, hard.

"Sorry." he apologizes, sighing. "I was just thinking."

Ziva sets down the knife and walks around him to look for the pan for the meat and starts heating it.

"It's okay, I was just… surprised." she allows, her brows furrowing in concentration. "And while I was made fun of, I wouldn't call what the others did bullying." she adds, turning down the heat and adding the meat to the pan before turning to watch her partner stir the fruit salad.

"Is this about Tony and the kid he bullied?" she asks him, walking over to him to run her fingers through his short hair in an attempt to sooth and be close. Tim sigh and pulls her down into his lap, kissing her jaw and resting his head on her shoulder.

"Yeah. I don't know, I didn't want to be mean to him, but… honestly, if one of the kids that bullied me showed up to apologize, I'd probably send them away without accepting." he admits, leaning back so she can steal another piece of fruit from the salad.

"Hm." Ziva nods, chewing thoughtfully.

"It's not that I'd want to hurt them, but… they hurt me. And there's no taking that back. Some things are just… unforgivable. And I wouldn't lie to them for the sake of their peace of mind." Tim mutters. "Does that make me a bad person?" he suddenly asks and Ziva stares at him in surprise.

"No." she shakes her head vehemently. "No, no it does not make you a bad person." she insists, kissing him gently. "Don't ever think that."

Tim sighs softly.

"It's just… I mean, they would apologize and-"

"There was a group of girls at our school who bullied Tali." Ziva interrupts him. "They took away her things, dumped her books in the toilet. Hid her clothes during PE. Wrote mean things on the blackboard. Teased her in class and bumped her in the hallways. I listened to her crying herself to sleep for weeks…" Ziva shakes her head, trailing off as Tim swallows.

"Why did they stop?" he asks her, only remembering afterwards that her sister died when she was still a teenager. There's a real chance that it was her death that ended the bullying. Suddenly scared of ripping open old wounds, he is relieved when Ziva answers.

"They didn't. Mother lost her job, we had to move and change schools." she tells him, sighing. "The point is, I may not know how much it hurts when it happens to myself, but I saw how much it hurt Tali. And after what they did to her soul, they don't deserve that peace of mind."  
Tim blinks at her when she gently strokes his cheek and kisses him.

"Just thinking that someone hurt you like that makes me want to hurt them." she mutters against his lips.

"So, you don't want the guy to forgive Tony?" he asks her softly and again, Ziva sighs.

"I don't know."

She gets up and turns the meat in the pan, crossing her arms.

"He's… Tony. And honestly, sometimes, especially when he's talking to you, I feel that he hasn't learned anything from his behavior in the past." she admits. "But then he suddenly does something nice and thoughtful and… I don't know."

Tim stands, wrapping his arms around her. "Guess it's not up for us to decide." he mutters and feels Ziva relax against him.

"No, it's not."


	4. 9x03 tag

When he finally gets home, tired and emotionally exhausted, he finds Ziva in his apartment. The smell of food is in the air, and a quick look into the pots tell him she's preparing what she dubs 'comfort food' because her grandmother used to make it whenever she was upset. She greets him with a soft kiss on the lips and then follows him into the bedroom, hugging him from behind as he unbuttons his shirt before she disappears into the bathroom. He can hear the water running and strips down to his boxers before following her, curious. The bathroom tiles seem to be afire as the light of a dozen lit candles bounces off them. Ziva had poured him a bubble bath.

"Lavender or pine?" she asks him, holding up two candles. He swallows thickly, grabbing her and hugging her against him tightly. Her arms snake around him and she lets him squish her to the point where he knows it must be getting hard for her to breathe. But instead of struggling, she leans into him even more, kissing his neck gently before rubbing her nose against his skin.

"Lavender." he decides when he finally lets go of her, his voice husky with the tears that are burning in his eyes. She catches his look and he averts his eyes, blinking rapidly, but she doesn't comment and only lights the candle.

"Dinner should take another twenty minutes, take your time. I'll send Jethro in to get you when it's done." she mutters, brushing her lips over his again before she slips from the bathroom. He stares after her briefly before he takes off his boxers and slips into the warm water of the bath, allowing himself to relax. He closes his eyes and breathes in the scented air. He must have dozed off because there's suddenly something cold and wet brushing against his hand that's hanging off the bathtub. He shoots up in the water, sending it splashing over the rim. Jethro sits back and tilts his head, a low whine coming from the dog. Tim stares at him before rubbing a hand over his face.

"She wasn't joking, huh?" he mutters before getting out of the tub and grabbing a towel to wrap around his hips. He pets the dog and Jethro stands again, wagging his tail and giving an excited bark. "Yeah buddy, I missed you, too." he mutters and follows the animal into the bedroom where he dries off and gets dressed. The lavender from the bathroom is mixing with the scent of fried chicken drifting in from the kitchen and he inhales deeply, feeling refreshed and... alive.

Ziva has her back to him as she spreads food on two plates when he walks into the kitchen. He walks over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning down to kiss her cheek. She tenses briefly at the contact before relaxing again and he makes a mental note to announce his presence before he does it the next time. Jethro trots over to them and bumps into his legs.

"I didn't give him his food yet, I thought you may want to do that." Ziva informs him before turning and grabbing the plates to set them down at the table. Tim considers letting the dog wait until they are finished with dinner but seeing as his bowl is in the kitchen and the smell of delicious food coming from the table must be torture for the poor thing, he sighs and fixes Jethro's dinner before washing his hands and sitting down at the table, opposite of Ziva.

"It looks delicious. Smells like it, too." he tells her, giving her a thankful smile that she returns as she picks up her fork. He does, too, but suddenly finds that he doesn't have much of an appetite. After two bites, Ziva notices.

"But you are not hungry?" she asks him, nodding to his plate when he gives her a confused look. He sighs and shrugs.

"Yeah, I guess. I don't know, I'm sure it's great but..."

"You're not in the mood for food." she completes his sentence, leaning back and taking a sip of her water. "Do you want to talk now?" she offers and he sighs, shaking his head and leans back himself.

"No, go ahead and eat." he tells her.

"There's some chocolate mousse in the fridge, if you'd rather have that." she tells him before leaning over her plate again, but her enthusiasm has dimmed considerably.

He gets up and gets the two bowls of dessert, setting one down next to her plate before he begins eating his. This isn't the instant stuff he buys, she made this one from scratch, and he is suddenly feeling very guilty about the main course. When he is done with the chocolate, he starts up his main dinner again and feels Ziva watching him briefly, but again she says nothing. What really surprises him is that, once they are done eating, she tells him to leave the plates and pulls him to the bedroom. Instead of kissing him and undressing, she lies down on the comforter, extending her arms to him in silent invitation. One he suddenly realizes he needs badly. So he crawls into bed next to her and snuggles against her, pulling her against him in a hug that rivals the one in the bathroom.

"As much as I like being this close to you," Ziva mutters after a while, "breathing, unfortunately, is a necessity." He quickly loosens his hold and she turns so she ends up half on top of him, sighing contentedly, toying with the lapels of the polo shirt he put on.

"I called my father." he softly mutters and she shifts on top of him so she can look at his face.

"What did he say?" she asks him, her voice barely above a whisper. Tim tries a shrug but doesn't quite succeed due to the position they're in.

"It was weird. I haven't talked to him in seven years. I don't know, I guess I thought he'd be... happier? About hearing my voice. But he seemed pretty indifferent." he tells her and closes his eyes against the sudden onslaught of tears. He can feel her stroke his cheek and the softness of her lips as she kisses away a tear that slips out between his eyelids. He draws a shuddering breath, tightening his hold on her briefly before remembering what she just said and letting up.

"Well, maybe he was. Happy, about hearing your voice. And maybe he was surprised, too, and he didn't want to show his emotions." she throws in, one of her hands starting to run through his hair soothingly. "And even if he doesn't want to start talking to you again, though I have no idea why not," she adds, "I still stand by what I said to your grandmother."

Tim blinks his eyes open, staring at her in surprise.

"You need to stop selling yourself so short, Tim." Ziva tells him, her voice softer than ever and her dark eyes gentle. "You are a wonderful person and NCIS is very lucky to have you. Tony and Gibbs and Abby and I and Ducky and Palmer, we're all lucky to have you in our lives." She falters, drawing a deep breath. "I am very lucky to have you, Tim." she breathes, blinking. "I love you." she adds, her voice barely audible, and for a second, he thinks he imagine her saying it. But then the look of vulnerability and fear in her eyes registers and he knows it's not his mind playing tricks on him. She really said it.

"I love you, too." he returns, pulling her head down for a soft, sweet kiss. Suddenly, he isn't the only one crying any more, and he pulls her head down against his chest, simply holding her close.

"Besides, if your father doesn't want you, all the better for me." Ziva mutters after a while.

"How's that?" Tim wonders, looking down at her when she tilts her head to look at him again.

"Because I'm bad at sharing, and that way, I get to keep you all to myself." she tells him, succeeding in making a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth.


	5. 9x04 tag

"You have been holding out on me." Ziva declares, narrowing her eyes at him. Tim frowns lightly, grabbing a mug to pour himself some coffee. They're in the break room, taking a much needed ten minutes away from the bullpen and everyone in it.

"What do you mean?" he asks her, turning around to watch her feed a dollar into the vending machine and select a granola bar. When she bends down, her shirt rides up slightly and he admires the view before catching himself and casting a quick glance around to make sure they are really alone. Ziva walks over to him, grabs her own mug and nudges his shoulder, nodding towards one of the tables. It's only when they have sat down that she speaks again.

"All your knowledge about the Cooler?" she raises an eyebrow at him and suddenly he knows where this is going and can't help the groan escaping him. He should have known that she'd catch that. Damn! And he had been so careful about not leaving traces of his activities around her.

"That sounded suspiciously like someone did some detailed research. You are writing a new book, aren't you?" Ziva outright asks him and he gives a soft sigh and takes a fresh sip of his coffee before shaking his head.

"Not writing." Tim tells her, catching her eye and knowing very well that he won't be getting away with half-truths. "Not yet. I'm just, doing research, I guess." he slowly admits and watches as her face lights up with excitement before a puzzled frown appears on her forehead.

"Why didn't you say something?" she asks, suddenly shifting in her seat. "I mean, it must be taking a lot of time, given how much you knew about him. You can tell me if we are spending too much time together, I would understand if-"

"Ziva." he quickly interrupts her and grabs her hand, giving it a soft squeeze, lingering before letting go lest someone walks in on them. "I like spending time with you. More than doing research on stuff that's floating through my head." Tim tells her and watches as she slowly relaxes again. "I didn't tell you anything because I don't like talking about my writing process. It's really just a vague idea in my head and I don't even know if I really want to do it. Talking about it makes it… real. And then if I don't end up writing it, or can't finish it, or can't find a publisher, I… I'd feel like a total failure."

Ziva watches his face before giving him a soft smile and brushing the fingers of her hand against his, nodding.

"I understand." she nods, her index finger running over the back of his hand.

"Really?"

She nods again, giving a soft sigh and taking a sip of her tea.

"I never told anyone when I was trying out for something." she reveals, giving a sheepish shrug. "Getting turned down was bad enough; I didn't need other people knowing about it." Ziva slowly shakes her head before sitting up and leaning forward slightly.

"So, if you'd have to look for a new publisher it won't be another LJ Tibbs novel?" she asks, unwrapping her granola bar and Tim can't help the soft smile that's creeping up on him.

"I think it's time for something new." he nods, hoping she catches the hidden meaning behind it. "I've been having this idea of writing from the perspective of a professional hitman?" he reveals, surprised at how comfortable and easy it feels to talk about this with her, even at work. He doesn't feel like telling her about his ideas is jinxing them, or that she would think he was a failure if he doesn't manage to pull it off. Instead she encourages him, her eyes sparkling and even provides somewhat helpful insight on what bothered her about the last book she read with a similar topic.


	6. 9x05 tag

"Hey."

Ziva jumps lightly and straightens from putting down her backpack, only remembering when Jethro comes padding over to her that putting it by the door it a bad idea with a dog around. Tim frowns lightly, wondering what's going on in her head when she forgets something that she has been doing for weeks now, and then he also remembers it wasn't exactly their plans for her to stay over tonight, either.

"Are you busy?" she asks him, toying with the zipper of her jacket, her backpack in her hand again, ready to leave if he tells her to.

"No. Well, yeah, but if you can spare me for an hour or two later then you're very welcome to stay." he tells and watches as she relaxes, setting down the backpack on the sideboard next to his and hanging up her jacket.

"Thanks. I just… don't really want to be alone right now." she tells him before she leans up for a quick kiss and disappears into his kitchen, Jethro still trotting after her.

Tim briefly wonders how long it will take for the dog to start whining and Ziva to realize she forgot to greet him by petting him, and then the first soft whine sounds from the kitchen, followed by a yelp that's decidedly non-human and Jethro slinks past him, his tail between his legs. In the kitchen, Ziva's on the floor, scooping up the teabags she dropped. When she hears him approach, she looks up at him.

"He scared me, I didn't realize he was following me around." she explains, getting up and putting water on the stove for the tea.

"The yelp?"

"I stepped on his paw." she admits, shaking her head at herself before she brushes past him, looking for the dog, who has retreated to his blanket in the corner, staring at her balefully.

"Hey buddy." Ziva kneels down at a distance, waiting, holding out her hand. Slowly, Jethro gets up and walks over to her, pushing at her shoulder with his snout and she gently pets him, stroking his fur. "I'm sorry." she whispers into his fur, going into her pocket and producing a treat for him. When she gets up again, she finds Tim looking at her with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow and she rolls her eyes. "I'll take him running with me, Mister Health Nut." she promises and he just nods.

"You better, or you will go to the vet next time and explain why he's still overweight." Tim tells her, the soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth letting her know that he's not really mad at her for giving the dog a treat as an apology. She rarely does it and he knows it's not her fault that Jethro has too much weight on him. It's more Tim's own fault for cutting walks short when he is called into work and not enjoying running all year round.

Ziva flops down on his couch when he disappears back into the kitchen and gets them their tea, handing a cup of the steaming liquid to her before he sits down next to her.

"What am I going to have to compete with for your attention tonight, anyway?" she asks him after taking a small sip of the tea, a soft sigh escaping her.

"Weekly raid." he answers, shrugging. "Shouldn't take long, if it's more than an hour you're free to cut off the internet and I'll just text one of them that it crashed and I can't get back on." Tim allows and Ziva finds herself smiling at his willingness to cut his online time short for her. She shakes her head slowly.

"It's okay, I have a book with me. And if I am done with that, I'll just borrow one of yours." she tells him, snuggling against him.

"Tudors are on, too." Tim mutters before kissing her hair and Ziva gives a sheepish grin.

"Already seen it." she admits, and for a brief moment he wonders if she watched it with Tony but then he finds he doesn't really care about that. They sit like this for a while, talking occasionally, and he has a feeling that there's a bigger reason for her not wanting to be alone but doesn't push her into talking. He gets up at some point and logs into his World of Warcraft account and joins the Teamspeak of his guild. While he's playing, he hears Ziva trying to teach Jethro new commands over the chatter of his guild members and watches her attempts out of the corner of his eye, resulting in a group wipe that has the others asking him what the hell he is doing that he's not paying attention and he has to concentrate then. Ziva seems to notice the chewing out he gets because instead of her actually cutting off the internet, she walks over shortly before the bossfight and kisses his neck, showing him her watch before rejoining Jethro on the floor to demonstrate yet again what she means with "roll over".

"Sorry about that." he apologizes when they are finally done and he shuts down his computer again.

"It's okay, you rarely do it when I am over. Also, I had some time to do something useful. Watch." she grins at him, turning to Jethro. "Jethro." she calls the dog and the German Shepherd's ears perk up. "Roll over." she commands. At first nothing happens. When Ziva repeats the command, Jethro slowly lays down and stares up at her. "Roll over, Jethro." she repeats a third time, and the dog decides to roll onto his back and play dead instead, making Tim's girlfriend groan and Tim chuckle.

"Impressive." he teases her and she swats at his chest.

"Oh, shut up." she mutters, stepping over the prone Jethro who shoots up and trots after her, clearly expecting another treat for his marvelous display. "No." she tells the dog and points to his blanket. "Go lie down."

When Jethro continues staring at her, his tongue lolling out, Tim decides to take pity on the dog and walks over, petting him.

"Good job, go lie down." he repeats and Jethro grabs his favorite toy from under the coffee table before stalking to his corner. Tim checks the clock, calculating in his head.

"When do you want to go running tomorrow?" he asks Ziva and she shrugs.

"Around five or something, why?"

"Cause then he has to go again." Tim tells her, sighing.

"Really?" she groans, the idea of having to leave the apartment again so close to midnight not appealing to her at all.

"Either that or he'll come asking to be let out at three." he shrugs and Ziva hits her head against the backrest.

"Why can't we trade him for a cat?" she mumbles to herself before rising slowly.

"'Cause they don't listen any better." Tim teases when they get up to get their jackets, which earns him another swat on his arm.

"Hey!"

"I will have you know, I taught him the basic commands in Hebrew." she glares at her boyfriend, snatching the leash from him and calling out to the dog in her native language. Promptly, Jethro comes racing to her and Tim quickly steps behind her, bracing himself for the impact, but Jethro catches himself and doesn't jump up at her but sits down instead.

"Good boy." Ziva praises him and gives him a small treat before hooking the leash through his collar.

"When'd you teach him that?" Tim asks her, surprised at the new trick.

"When you went to see your sister last month." she shrugs. "He forgets sometimes."

Tim actually is impressed that the dog does remember he is not allowed to jump up at Ziva. While she may be strong and able to hold her own in a fight, the full weight of Jethro crashing into her at a run usually sends her tumbling down, and they had tried in the past to teach him to stop that with her. He doesn't want to teach the dog to stop completely, because he actually kind of enjoys it when Jethro jumps up at him when he gets home from work, it's nice to know the dog missed him. But when he does it with other people smaller than Tim, it tends to go badly. He grabs his keys and holds the door open for them to go through before closing it behind him and following them down the stairs.

When they first started seeing each other regularly, Jethro seemed to hate Ziva with a passion. He refused to walk with her, didn't listen to anything she said and actually growled at her and even snapped at her hand twice. Tim doesn't really know when that stopped, but now the dog sometimes listens to her better than he does to Tim.

Tim wraps his arm around her shoulders when Ziva lets Jethro off the leash and the dog sprints over the grass at the park to find himself a tree.

"Wanna tell me what's got you so preoccupied?" he asks her softly when she leans into him. Ziva shrugs, drawing a deep breath. "You're rarely this… unfocused. Or restless."

His girlfriend sighs and shakes her head, toying with the zipper of his jacket.

"Mariam got me thinking." she admits, slowly exhaling. "About when I came into this country, both times, once as a foreigner working here and then with the intention to stay, to become a citizen… I keep thinking about what she had to leave behind and what she did to get her family away, and… it brings up some things, things that I would rather put behind me."

Tim wraps his arm around her shoulder and presses a kiss to her temple.

"I'm here, if you wanna talk." he offers her and she looks up at him, brushing her lips against his shortly.

"I had a conversation with Gibbs." she tells him, staring at the trees in the distance when Jethro comes back to them and Tim throws the glow-in-the-dark toy for him to chase.

"If he started giving you a hard time about us-" Tim starts, but Ziva shakes her head, picking the toy up when Jethro returns and drops it at her feet. She throws it, not as far as Tim did, and the dog runs off again.

"He didn't mention it." she assures her partner, biting her bottom lip. "It was about parents and kids and…" she trails of, suddenly turning to him.

"When you had problems with your dad, did your mother ever say anything?" she asks him and Tim frowns, thinking.

"Not really." he shakes his head. "I mean, she tried to tell me that I was a good kid and it was okay if I didn't succeed in everything, as long as I tried my best…"

Ziva drops down to take the toy from Jethro again, this time throwing farther.

"My mother never told me what kind of person my father is." she reveals, drawing a shuddering breath. "Even when they divorced and Tali and I were living with her… she never talked bad about him in front of us. I was so angry at her as a child, a teenager. I wanted nothing more than to please my father and I pushed her away again and again…"

Tim wraps his arms around her in a hug and Ziva hides her face in his chest briefly.

"She knew what I was going to do, she knew I would join Mossad, yet she never… She never told me why she had left our father. She never… warned me." Ziva breathes, looking down when Jethro nudges her leg, the toy in his snout. She takes it, throwing it again and the dog stares at her briefly before trotting after the toy.

"You're angry at her." Tim realizes, stroking over Ziva's hair as she nods.

"Yes." she confirms, nudging him when Jethro comes back so he can do the throwing this time around. "And maybe, if I had known, I still would have made all these choices, but…" she trails off, sighing. "I wish I could talk to her."

He lets her lean against him and cuddles her close.

"You can." he mutters. "I'm sure there are a couple of headstones at the cemetery that don't have a name."

Ziva shakes her head.

"No. No, I don't mean like that. I mean an actual conversation. I want to ask her some things and I'd like an answer for a change." she mutters, sighing before breaking contact and picking up Jethro's toy to play with the dog again, leaving Tim to stare after her briefly before he joins them.


	7. 9x06 tag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever notice how Ziva seems to look at McGee for confirmation during the squadroom scene when they are discussing Ducky's mystery friend?

For a terrifying second, he doesn't know what to do. The times when she gets flashbacks have gotten extremely rare. It's by far not the first one she had around him, but the last one was so long ago that it takes him a moment to realize that she isn't teasing him with her struggles, isn't acting but dead serious about it.

When he does finally get it, he quickly takes a step back and drops his arms so she is no longer trapped against the kitchen counter. She shakes her head and slides down against it, coming to rest on the cold tiles, her head in her hands, breathing labored. He presses himself against the wall opposite of her, trying to give her as much space as possible.

Ziva draws a shuddering breath, her body trembling and he longs to be able to touch her, to offer her physical comfort, but he knows that this isn't the moment for it just yet. She'll come to him when she feels that she can stand the physical contact again. In the meantime, the only thing he can do is try to distract her from the horrible memories by talking about things from their everyday lives, stuff that had happened since she came back from Somalia so it doesn't feel like an old memory, something that grips her attention and forces her to concentrate on his rather than the images in her head.

"Hey, did you know that Ducky has a girlfriend?" he asks her, waiting for a reaction. Ziva raises her head, blinking slowly, the fog in her eyes starting to clear slightly.

"Huh?" she mutters, trying to concentrate on him, his voice, his face, the feel of the cool tiles under her, anything to ground her in this reality and not the one currently playing in her head.

"Yeah. Remember how he and my grandmother went on a date together?" Tim tries, watching as she frowns lightly.

"Pe… Penelope?"

"Yeah, her." he confirms, nodding. His heart cheers when she slowly crawls over to him and sits down next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Ziva carefully takes his hand, still hesitating a bit, and entwines their fingers before she rests them against her drawn-up knees, a shiver running through her.

"Your grandmother and Ducky are a couple?" she asks him and he quickly shakes his head.

"No! Good God, no." Tim exclaims, making a face. "No, they only went out once, on one date, and yeah, I guess she kinda liked him, but in the end, they're just… too different, I guess." he shrugs. "Thank God."

Ziva gives a soft chuckle, scooting closer so their sides are touching and letting go of his hand. The wordless signal and permission for him to touch her again. He wraps his arm around her shoulder and presses a soft kiss to her temple, thankful that apparently, this flashback wasn't that bad and that she is recovering quickly from it.

"Well, who is his girlfriend then?" Ziva asks, turning her head to press her face into his neck briefly, drawing a deep breath. She's still tense, alert, and her walls are up high, but at least she has stopped trembling and is able to seek his touch.

"Someone he met online a few weeks ago." Tim tells her, waiting as she slowly forces herself to relax and then climbs into his lap. She musses his hair and brushes her lips against his in a quick kiss, a wordless 'thank you'. He runs his hand up and down her back in a soothing caress.

"Wanna share?" he asks her, not that surprised when she shakes her head and bites her lip, blinking rapidly a few times.

"Not just yet." she mutters and he nods, understanding and willing to give her as much time as she needs. "But I would like to know where you are getting your information from?" Ziva adds, cocking an eyebrow at him. Tim flinches slightly, suddenly remembering his promise to Abby that not just said not to give her away as the source, but also to keep his mouth shut about the fact of Ducky having found someone in the first place. Oooops.

"Sorry, I can't reveal my sources." he tells her, shaking his head. Ziva leans back slightly, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Not even to me?" she flutters her eyelashes and Tim has to bite back a laugh at her attempt at 'innocent girlfriend'.

"Nope." he nods, vowing to resist her charm as Ziva gives an exaggerated sigh.

"That's too bad." she mutters as she plays with the topmost button of his shirt, her head tilted slightly to the side. "Well, in that case, I will have to find a way to make you talk." she declares with a husky voice as she leans in for a deep kiss, her hands slipping under his shirt to rake her nails down his sides. He moans into her mouth at the feeling of her rocking her hips against his and is about to tangle his hands into her curls as she suddenly breaks the kiss and gets up. He stares at her, blinking in confusion, his mouth hanging open slightly.

"Ziva?"

"Didn't I tell you there are some torturing techniques I haven't tried out yet?" she asks, fake surprise in her tone as she gives him a shrug and a big grin. "This one is called 'withholding sex', I believe."

And with that, she walks from the kitchen, her hips moving from side to side invitingly and he hits his head against the wall repeatedly. The things he does to keep promises. Or at least, parts of them.


	8. 9x07 tag

Ziva rolled her eyes when she caught him looking into the mirror again, his hand automatically rising to the back of his head. She walked around him and gently slapped it, causing Tim to give himself a light headslap.

"Hey!" he called out, turning around to give her a soft glare.

"Will you stop it?" Ziva asked him, gesturing to his head. "Your hair is fine, it is not getting thinner." she assured him. Tim frowned lightly, turning back to the mirror.

"Are you sure?" he asked her, his voice higher than usual. Ziva bit her tongue to keep herself from sighing and nodded, taking advantage of him leaning down so she could run her fingers through his soft hair.

"Yes. All perfect." she told him, kissing his head. Tim sighed and straightened.

"Sorry. I guess I'm being paranoid." he apologized and Ziva raised an eyebrow.

"Really? You, paranoid over your hair? Never!" she exclaimed with a grin and shaking her head at him when he flushed a little in embarrassment.

"It's a sensitive topic for men, okay?" he shot at her and Ziva let out a soft laugh before she covered her mouth with her hand and drew a breath, sobering.

"I am sorry." she apologized, clearing her throat. "It was not my intention to make fun of you, but you have to admit that your behavior has indeed been… bordering on ridiculous."

Tim's eyes widened in indignation and he opened his mouth.

"Was not!"

"Tell me you did not count the hairs in the shower drain today and I will gladly take it back." she challenged him, shaking her head again when he didn't answer but looked away from her. She took a step closer to him and gently took his face into her hands, forcing him to look at her.

"You. Are. Not. Going. Bald." she insisted, pulling him down for a soft kiss. "And if you do not stop this, I swear I will take a razor and shave the back of your head while you are sleeping so you _are_ bald." she added, her tone suggesting she was joking. Mostly. She had indeed considered doing it if he did not stop this fretting of his soon, but then again, she figured that she would only make matters worse.

"You wouldn't."

"Are you willing to test that theory?" she asked him and Tim opened his mouth, but hesitated, looking at her before he closed it again, shaking his head.

"I'll try." he gave him.

"That's all I'm asking." Ziva nodded, reaching up to the top of the wardrobe and pulling down the yarmulke, handing it over to her boyfriend and watching as he fastened it on his head, her heart fluttering in her chest at the reality of him actually going to the synagogue with her, despite Tony's teasing that the supposedly bald spot on his head looked like a yarmulke. When he was done and turned around, looking at her for approval, she blinked her eyes rapidly to keep the sudden tears at bay and pulled him down to kiss him.

"What was that for?" Tim asked, slightly breathless when she finally let him go.

"Because." Ziva shrugged, grabbing her keys and holding open the door for him.


	9. another 9x07 tag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more serious tag to _Devil's Triangle_ , which was actually written before even the promo for _Desperate Man_ had aired...

"You ever think about it?" Tim asks when they are in the middle of unloading her dishwasher, wiping off the silverware and plates and glasses before putting them on her kitchen table. Jethro is lying under it, chewing on a bone that Ziva wanted to hit her boyfriend over the head with when the dog walked in, carrying it in his muzzle, but since it was the anniversary of Tim adopting him, she had given in and let the dog have it and slobber all over her tiles. Maybe the fact that Jethro was rather insistent and wouldn't relent to her tugging on his treat also had something to do with it, but Tim wasn't going to point out she had lost a battle against a four-legged pet.

"Think about what?" Ziva asks him, grabbing another glass and starting to polish it.

"You know, getting married." he shrugs, setting down the plate in his hands and turning to look at her, a little surprised to find her staring at him with wide eyes. "What?" he asks before it hits him. "No. No, I didn't… no." he stammers and she furrows her brows slightly, making him groan. "I was just generally thinking about it. Because of Gibbs and his ex-wife." he tries to explain and is actually relieved to see her nod slowly. Ziva sets down the glass in her hand and throws the towel over her shoulder.

"Maybe." she gives him a vague answer and he raises an eyebrow at her. Sighing softly, she shuts the dishwasher, leaning against the counter, their shoulders almost touching. She watches Jethro chew on his bone, a faraway look on her face before she shakes her head. "It is not something I ever saw happening to me."

"You didn't think you'd ever get married?" Tim asks, astonished. He always thought that every girl dreamed of the day she'd get married and made up perfect scenarios in their heads, up to the dress and groom and the cake. But then again, Ziva isn't an ordinary woman.

"I never thought I'd _settle down_." she clarifies. "My life wasn't… accommodating for romantic relationships. And yes, I was in love before but… it never occurred to me that the person I was with could be the one I would spend the rest of my life with."

Tim swallows, trying not to show his disappointment. But something must have shown on his face, because Ziva bumps her shoulder against his when she looks at him, giving him a soft smile.

"I once told Tony, I came to NCIS to settle down." she continues. "And I think that my relationship with Ray was part of that process."  
Tim grimaces. He doesn't like to think about the guy with the big ears, greasy hair and the hammer that shattered Ziva's heart too much. Ziva rolls her eyes, shaking her head.

"I wanted to have something permanent, something stable, outside of NCIS. And I really liked him, but even with him, I never really believed that we'd stay together… forever." she tells him, sighing. He can't help but swallow thickly, because he really doesn't like where he thinks this is going.

"What about me?" he whispers, forcing himself to hold her gaze. Ziva bites her lip, hesitating.

"I have a rather… cynic… approach to the concept of marriage." she tells him, for the time avoiding a direct answer to his question. He watches her tilting her head slightly before she gives him a soft smile. "But maybe, I have been, for a lack of better word, reviewing it."

Tim blinks at her stupidly, waiting. Again she rolls her eyes.

"Marriage is a concept from a time where 'till death does us part' meant fifteen to twenty years, if you were lucky." Ziva shakes her head.

"Oh, come on!" Tim exclaims, throwing away his towel.

"Well, it is true." she shrugs and he shakes his head at her.

"Very romantic."

"I do not believe the concept of marriage was intended to be romantic." she argues. "It was meant to ensure monogamy."

He can't help but stare at her, dumbfounded. "That is the most horrible thing I ever heard about marriage. And I've been working with Gibbs." he points out.  
Ziva chuckles, running a hand through her hair as she grows serious.

"Do you now understand why I think it is rather… obsolete? Speaking from a 'maintaining a relationship' standpoint? In a monogamous relationship that both agree on, you shouldn't have to celebrate that fact and have to sign papers so make sure the other one doesn't break that promise." she argues and he sighs.

"Maybe. But just because it isn't the most romantic invention ever, doesn't mean it didn't change meaning over the centuries."

Ziva draws a deep breath, hesitating.

"I have seen many marriages fall apart." she slowly says. "My parents were like poison for each other when they were together. A piece of paper that declared them husband and wife did not change that. And neither did it work miracles for other Mossad Officers." Ziva sighs, shaking her head. "There is a lot you cannot share with the one you are with. And if they are also Mossad, then they will understand that, but it will still tear a relationship apart in the end. And if they are civilians… no one likes putting up with phone calls in the middle of the night and absences over months that can never be talked about, nightmares you can't share because it would mean divulging information on a mission. Never mind the actual fact that your job is either directly killing people or you are helping to make that happen. It… is a lot, for any partner."

"You're no longer a Mossad Officer. You're an NCIS Special Agent." Tim reminds her and Ziva shakes her head.

"Because NCIS agent have a so much better track record when it comes to long-term relationships? And honestly, the job we do is just as dangerous at times as Mossad was."

"That doesn't mean every relationship fails, or falls victim to an early death of one of the partners." Tim argues, slowly realizing that he is starting to sound rather desperate for a guy who claims he was only thinking of marriage in general thanks to his boss.

To his surprise, she actually nods and takes his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze and tug.

"I know. And maybe, my attitude is also changing. Slowly."

"How slow?" he presses and she gives him a serious look.

"Very. But maybe it… sped up slightly, in the last few months." she adds, her tone meaningful, eyes staring into his.

Tim swallows, nodding slowly. He gets it. She's not ready for it, not yet anyway. And he doesn't think they really are ready for it, either. But it's nice to know that it might be an option, in the future.

"Okay." he mutters, leaning down when she pulls him in for a kiss. She leaves her hand resting on his cheek, preventing him from pulling away as she stares into his eyes.

"Don't ask. At least not yet, or anytime soon." she breathes and he only nods, kissing her widow's peak and wrapping his arms around her to hold her close.


	10. 9x08 tag

Watching her throw things into her duffle bag makes the restless feeling in his stomach that started at NCIS return full force.

When Gibbs announced that Ziva was going with him, Tim had stared at her. He hadn't been too worried, until it became apparent that Ziva was actually accepting and would be going to Afghanistan with their boss. Then the fear had set in, and the bargaining. He had caught Gibbs on his way out of NCIS, when Ziva had already left to pack, and tried to talk the man into changing his mind, only to get a "you'll get it, some day" and a pat on the shoulder before the older man left him standing in the bullpen.

"Are you even listening to me?" Ziva's voice cuts through his thoughts and he shakes his head to clear it.

"Sorry. You were saying?"

His partner frowns lightly and shakes her head, turning to her dresser again and going through drawers.

"I was asking if you have seen my blue sweater. The one with the small pocket sewn on the arm." she repeats, making him frown.

"What do you need a sweater for, you're going to Afghanistan." Tim mutters and Ziva turns around at the sound of his voice.

"Nights are cold in the desert." she reminds him and sighs, throwing her duffle bag from the bed and starting to fold the remaining clothes on the bed to put them back into her dresser. Tim slowly walks over to her and picks up a khaki shirt. He holds it up and suddenly remembers that he had bought it for her. Or rather, he had lend her the money for it when she first came back to NCIS and couldn't access her accounts because she had been declared dead in Israel and her accounts were frozen.

"Mind if I take this?" he asks her, holding it up. Ziva furrows her brows.

"I know I like to sleep in your shirts when I miss you, but I doubt you'll fit into this." she teases. "I'm rather fond of it, so-" she trails of when he averts his eyes, tracing the yellow letters on it. "Tim?" Ziva breathes, but he doesn't look up. He hears her walk around and then she's suddenly next to him, gently taking the shirt from his hands.

"I wasn't going to wear it, I just-" he starts but she cuts him off with her finger on his lips. When she removes it, she holds up a navy blue scarf, this time a real present. He gave her that one for Thanksgiving last year. Before he can take it, Ziva turns and sprays some perfume on the cloth, shaking it out before handing it to him.

"There." she merely says. "Should be easier to wrap around a pillow."

Tim blinks at her, tears welling up in his eyes and before he knows it, he has her in a bone crushing hug.

"I'm gonna miss you." he breathes into her hair and feels her hold on him tighten.

"Me, too." she mutters, rubbing her nose on his neck.

"Promise me you'll be careful. Please, Ziva, I don't care about statistics, just, tell me you'll look out for yourself."

"Hey, look at me." she demands, letting go of him and leaning back. She takes his face into her hands, holding him in place so she can look deeply into his eyes. "I love you, Tim. And if you think for one second that I will ever endanger what we have by biting the dust, then you are not half as intelligent as I thought you were."  
Despite himself, he can't help but give a weak smile at her attempt at humor. Her eyes are sparkling with amusement before she sobers significantly. "I am serious. I will watch out. I have been a soldier, I know what I am doing." she assures him, drawing him down to kiss him. Tim gives a soft sniffle before hugging her close again, letting go of the scarf in favor of being able to slips his hands under her shirt and run them over the skin of her back.

"Are you done packing?" he mutters against her lips and feels her nod.

"Mostly, yeah." Ziva murmurs, starting to unbutton his shirt and run her hands over his newly exposed skin.

"You can take that with you, if you want." he offers her, knowing she'd never ask for an item of his clothing to take with her.

"Already stole your MIT shirt." she admits before brushing his shirt off his shoulders, her hands going for the buckle of his belt next. "Now shut up."

That's an order he'll gladly obey.

 


	11. 9x09 tag

"Hey." Tim softly said, catching her wrist gently as she moved to brush past him. Ziva paused and looked at him with a soft frown before her expression eased and she wrapped her arms around him to hug him, leaning on her tiptoes to brush a soft kiss over his lips. When she leaned back slightly, Tim raised his hand and gently brushed her hair back before resting his forehead against hers, inhaling deeply.

"God, I missed you." he breathed, kissing her forehead softly before resuming his previous position. Ziva's hold on him tightened and she felt Jethro brush against her legs when the dog went over to them, either sensing their slight distress or simply wanting in on the cuddling.

"I missed you, too." she returned, reaching up to gently stroke his cheek. When the German Shepherd bumped her leg with his muzzle repeatedly, she gave a soft sigh and let go of her boyfriend to scratch the dog behind his ears. "You, too." she told him, getting a happy bark in return and groaning when Jethro flopped down, exposing his belly to her.

"It's okay; I'll put your stuff away." Tim assured her, grabbing her duffle bag and walking down the hallway to her bedroom. Ziva briefly stared after him before sitting down and giving Jethro a thorough welcome. When the dog finally got up again, she went into her bedroom, wondering what was taking Tim so long.  
She found he had put her clothes into piles next to the hamper and was sifting through the content of that to see what would get washed first.

"I can do that." she told him and Tim jumped slightly before turning around and shrugging.

"It's okay, it's not just your stuff…" he admitted and Ziva shook her head, walking over to him and wrapping her arms around his waist from behind, pressing a soft kiss to his neck. She had thought he had been kidding when he said he'd probably be staying at her place, but when he had opened the apartment, the familiar smell of an unused place had been missing and she hadn't found the thin layer of dust on the sideboard near the door that would always settle there when she went away for a few days… He must have really spent the days she was in Afghanistan here.

"I really hope that you didn't let Jethro sleep in the bed." she muttered, giving him a soft squeeze to let him know that there was more that she couldn't find the words for to say. Tim turned and gave her a sheepish grin.

"Only once?" he flinched lightly when she narrowed her eyes at him and turned to her bed, half expecting to see the German Shepherd lying on it. To her surprise, Jethro was actually lying on the blanket at the foot of it, watching them intently. Something else was on the bed, though. Ziva slowly went over and ran her hand over the Kevlar vest, a soft smile playing on her lips when her fingers touched the tiny flag sewn to it. An American flag.

She felt Tim walk up behind her and he rested his head on her shoulder.

"Someone stole government property." he teased her and Ziva rolled her eyes at him.

"No, they gave it to me." she told him, covering his arms around her with her hands and leaning back into him.

"What do you wanna do with it?" Tim asked her, kissing her neck. She frowned lightly. She hadn't really thought about that. Putting it on display seemed wrong, but so did just putting it into the closet or under the bed or something.

"I…" she trailed off, furrowing her brows. "Have no idea."

Tim's soft chuckle filled her ear.

"I may have a suggestion." he whispered and she frowned at him. "If you're not opposed to cutting it up, we could remove the flag and put it in a small picture frame. I think it would look pretty awesome on your bookcase."

For a second, she didn't know what to say as her breath hitched in her throat. She hadn't told him how much this tiny flag meant to her, only said that Gibbs had given her a vest with a flag when they had managed to sneak in a few seconds of a phone call. But he got it, like he often understood her without her having to spell things out for him in the first place. It made her uncomfortable sometimes, the level of understanding they shared, but most of the time, she was rather thankful for it.

"Sounds like a plan." she muttered, angling her head so she could catch his lips for a soft kiss.


	12. 9x10 tag

"You and Tony's father seemed to get along nicely." Tim casually mentions as they are watching a documentary on sunken ships. Ziva shrugs, grabbing a handful of popcorn.

"He is a nice man. And very charming."

Tim turns his head and raises an eyebrow at her. "Charming?" he asks and she rolls her eyes before leaning in and pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"Not as charming as you." Ziva tells him, softly hitting him over the head with one of the couch cushions. Tim grabs it with his hand and sees her eyes widen slightly, mischief flashing in the dark depths. Before either one of them knows it, they are in the middle of a full-blown pillow fight, and just as he is starting to get the upper hand there's a knock on her door. She hits Tim over the head again before she throws her couch cushion down and races for the door. Throwing it open, the smile freezes on her face when she finds herself staring up at their co-worker.

"Tony." she breathes, suddenly aware of how out of breath and flushed she is, not to mention the mess that is her hair.

"Hi. Am I interrupting… something?" her co-worker asks and lets his eyes drift over her shoulder to get a glimpse at her apartment and whoever is responsible for her state.

"Um, no, not really." she shakes her head, taking a step outside and pulling the door with her. Tony lets his eyes travel over her disheveled clothes and raises an eyebrow. Ziva crosses her arms and has to force herself not to get snappy with him. "What do you want, Tony?" she asks him, reaching up to brush a few loose strands of hair from her face.

"I didn't know CI-Ray was back." he says instead of giving her an answer, and Ziva feels her temper rise slowly.

"That's because it is none of your business." she snaps, closing her eyes and forcing herself to take a calming breath. "Sorry. But why are you here?"

This time, she watches him swallow thickly and there's an expression in his eyes that makes her heart jump in her throat. Oh no.

"I was, er, going to listen to my father for once. You know," Tony says, making a strange motion with his arms as if he attempts to lift something big and heavy, "sweep you off your feet. But you're clearly-" he continues only to trail off suddenly. Ziva feels the door behind her pulled back slightly and when something pokes against her leg, she wants to groan loudly. Instead she watches Tony look down at Jethro's muzzle.

"-busy." the male agent ends his sentence, pointing down. "Is that Jethro?" he asks, looking up at her again and before she can do anything against it, Ziva feels herself flushing, silently answering Tony's question. She watches as his face falls, darkens and then becomes a mask.

"Tony, no, it's not-"

"No, you know what, I don't wanna know." he snaps at her, shaking his head sharply. "Have fun, and give my congratulations to McGiggle." he adds before turning sharply and stalking away. Ziva quickly grabs her jacket and keys before pulling the door shut and running after him. She catches him just as he's unlocking his car.

"Tony, wait!" she yells at him, running over the parking lot and grabbing his arm. He pulls back from her as if her touch singed him.

"What?" he snaps, fire burning in his eyes. Ziva opens her mouth but then realizes she has no idea as to what to say. How to explain away what he saw, or rather, what he thinks he saw. Because there is no denying that her and McGee are indeed a couple, but having Tony think he more or less walked in on them trying to have sex… it just doesn't sit right with her. Not to mention that he probably thinks she is cheating on Ray with McGee and that is a thought that makes her stomach churn.

"Please, let me explain." she begs him and he crosses his arms pointedly.

"I'm all ears."

"Not here." Ziva shakes her head but Tony is shutting down even more and she realizes that her chances to get him to calm down are slim to none. He won't agree to going to his place, hers is occupied and frankly, she is sure that whatever it is he wants to say right now, she doesn't want others to hear it.

"Why not? Afraid he'll come down to finish what you two started?" Tony bites and she gasps at the sheer amount of maliciousness in his tone. And the realization just how much it _hurts_ to have him react like this. She looks away from him and draws a shuddering breath.

"How long, Ziva?" Tony asks, his voice gone strangely soft. "How long have you two been going behind all our backs, huh? Days? Weeks? _Months?_ "

Ziva looks at him again, gathering her courage.

"While you where undercover for SecNav." she admits. Tony visibly deflates, his face reflecting the pain he feels before he draws up his own mask and gives a sarcastic smile and laugh.

"Of course. When we were all otherwise busy and couldn't notice."

"Tony…" she sighs, shaking her head. "Ray and I are over. I ended things with him, halfway through your assignment. Tim found out, he… he was _there_ for me. He listened. We started doing things together, as friends-"

"Probie has always had a crush on you." Tony interrupts her. When he catches her surprised face, he gives another bark of laughter. "What, you think I'm that blind? He was trailing after you like a dog when you first started working at NCIS, only he's too innocent and cute and well-mannered to make a comment."

"No." Ziva shakes her head. "No, I am just… surprised that you noticed and I didn't, not earlier. I did notice when we really started spending time together, though, and suddenly I realized that what I was feeling for him wasn't mere friendship, either, there was a lot more than that."

Tony shakes his head, looking down at the keys in his hand, jingling them lightly. He gives a soft sound that's somewhere between anger and frustration and annoyance.

"Gibbs knows." Ziva blurts out and her partner's head snaps up, his eyes widening in surprise before the hurt is back tenfold. "The night you were shot, when Cade died and EJ went missing, I was with Tim. We were asleep and didn't hear our cell phones at first-" The snicker coming from Tony lets her know that he knows just why they were so fast asleep they didn't realize their phones were ringing.

"He allowed this?"

"He didn't forbid it." Ziva clarifies, biting her lip. "He warned us that he would end it when it started interfering with work, but otherwise hasn't mentioned it. Not to me, at least, but I'm pretty sure Tim would have told me if Gibbs had started giving him a hard time about it."

"And Abby?"

With a sigh, Ziva shakes her head, watching as Tony sets his jaw and she quickly grabs his arm.

"Please." she breathes. "I understand that you're mad at me, mad at us, for keeping this from you. But if you wanna hurt me, there is no need to drag Abby into this and hurt her, too."

"Yeah?" Tony asks, getting in her face. "Have you, for one second, considered what finding out you two are doing the nasty with each other behind her back for months without saying anything will hurt her? And that, if she finds out I knew and didn't say anything, either, she will either have my head or never speak to me again?"

"No. No, I did not consider that." Ziva whispers, feeling the tears burn in her eyes. "Tony, I… I can't apologize enough for this. We hurt you, we lied to you, and I am deeply sorry. But I love him, I love Tim and… please, Tony, don't, don't ruin this." she pleads, watching as he shakes his head.

"You did this to yourself. I'm not gonna protect you. Either one of you." Tony bites before getting in his car, slamming the door and speeding off, leaving Ziva to stand staring after him, trying desperately not to cry.


	13. 9x11 tag

"How about you stop trying to mess with my private life, huh?"

Ziva slowly turns to look at him before putting the second latex glove on her hand. When she is done, she looks at him again, trying to figure out what sort of mood he is in. Though maybe, his earlier statement already gave it away. They haven't talked since he discovered her relationship with Tim and she had rarely seen him this angry. She's a little out of her element.

"I was merely trying to give advice." she slowly states, knowing already that it was the wrong thing to say before his face falls. "We used to do that."

"We also used to tell the other about things that the team needed to know about." he snaps at her and she barely resists a sigh. So he is still upset about her and Tim.

"Look." she starts, taking a step towards him and looking up into his face. "I apologized. Tim apologized. We did not mean to lie and keep this a secret for so long, and it was wrong of us to go behind your back, you are right with that."

"Really?"

"Really." Ziva nods, ignoring his sarcastic tone as she plunges on. "But even though you are a valued member of this team and my friend, I do not have to explain my decisions concerning my love life to you. Your senior agent status does not change the fact that Gibbs is okay with Tim and my relationship and has the final word on if we can keep it up while working on the same team, not you."

When she finishes, she draws a deep breath, waiting for his retaliation. To her surprise, he just stares at her before pushing past her, leaving Ziva with the sinking feeling that this will be a very long day indeed.

* * *

"Must feel pretty good."

Tim clenches his hands in his jacket and settles on raising an eyebrow in Tony's direction as they are looking for Marsden's car.

"You got the girl in the end." Tony elaborates and Tim frowns lightly.

"I didn't 'get her', she chose me." he tells him, for some reason really irked by the other man's choice of words. Ziva was a woman, a person, not some trophy to win.

"Yeah. Over CI-Ray. What a competition." Tony snorts and Tim turns to glare at him.

"I believe she already told you that, but since you seem to take a while to get some things into your head: Ziva and Ray had already broken up when we started going out. And her breaking up with him had nothing to do with me."

"Of course."

"Okay, why don't you just say it, before you choke on it?" Tim stops in his steps, getting in Tony's way. When the older agent merely glares at him, Tim plunges on. "Oh, you want me to say it? Fine. I'm sorry that for once, you didn't get what you wanted, Tony. I'm sorry that skinny, nerdy, McIHaveNoLoveLife me got together with a woman you have been drooling over for years. Actually, no, you know what? I'm not sorry. I'm happy, and so is Ziva, and yeah, we shouldn't have kept it from you, but after the way you are acting right now, can you really blame us?" he raises and eyebrow. "And now I suggest we start working instead of pulling each other's hair, because I for one want to still have a job at the end of today and not get fired by Gibbs." Tim finishes, leaving Tony standing there to continue searching for the car of their latest victim.

* * *

"DiNozzo." Gibbs' voice cuts through his dark thoughts and Tony looks up from his notes and at his boss. "Wanna tell me what's got you so pissed off?"

"Nothing." Tony shrugs but can't resist the glance in the direction of Ziva and the Lieutenant.

"Ah." Gibbs nods, realizing what has his senior agent in such a funk. "They tell you?"

"Nope." Tony shakes his head, turning to his boss again. "Why is it you were raving on about me and EJ and you're fine with them being together."

Gibbs shifts from one foot to the other, watching his senior agent.

"They're good for each other." he slowly says. "You and Barrett, not so much."

Tony gives a snort at that, causing his boss to glare at him.

"Thought you wanted something more, DiNozzo. You and her… you were breaking my rules for sex. They broke 'em for love." he nods in Ziva's direction. "Tim's good for her. Grounds her, makes her let her hair down. She's been happier last couple of months than most of last year. Him, too. Not gonna tell them to break it off when it's what they both been looking for."

Slowly, Tony nods, drawing a deep breath.

"It's just, they could've told me, you know?" he mutters, shaking his head.

"Could've, should've…" Gibbs shrugs. "The way I see it, you got two choices. One, you continue to sulk and lose two of your friends. Two, you accept that they didn't want you prying on their private lives and get over it." he tells him. "Let's get back to work."

Tony slowly follows him, catching Ziva's eye over the Lieutenant's shoulder and giving her a small nod. He sees her frown in confusion but there's no time to explain what he means by it.

* * *

This time, Ziva comes knocking at his door, holding up a small present.

"We said no presents." Tony frowns when he opens the door to her, but accepts the package nonetheless.

"Well, you gave me one, so…" Ziva trails off.

"Wasn't for Christmas." he tells her, stepping aside to let her in.

"Oh." she breathes and he looks up at her from the present. "What was it for, then? Hannukah is eight nights, and-"

"My way of apologizing." Tony interrupts her, rendering her speechless. "I was an ass. And I realize that it might've been part of why you and McSneaky didn't tell me about you two." When he catches her eye-roll, he shrugs. "Sorry. Give me a few weeks and the nicknames will disappear."

Ziva looks down, toying with her keyring before looking up at him again.

"Are you still going to tell Abby?" she asks, her face carefully blank and Tony sighs.

"No." he tells her, shaking his head. "I won't lie if she asks, but… it's your relationship, not mine, so it's also your choice. I may not like it, but…"

To his surprise, a soft smile starts playing on Ziva's face and she steps closer, giving him a soft hug and leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you, Tony. Merry Christmas." she whispers before slipping from his apartment, leaving him with her present: The Dark Knight on Bluray.


	14. another 9x11 tag

Sometimes he doesn't know how to act around her. How to interact with her. Because he knows that opening up about her feelings is hard for her sometimes and then there's other times when it seems like it's the easiest thing for her to do and he doesn't always know which way it is.

He notices her missing in the squad room but doesn't dare ask Gibbs about it because it implies they're not talking to each other and the last thing he needs is their boss asking him about his relationship with Ziva. Him knowing about it is bad enough, really, and that coupled with how Tony has been acting recently… Well, he doesn't want to remind the boss that he is having sex with one of the team members and responsible for the current high tension on the team.

When he finds his own apartment empty and Jethro whining at him, he grabs the dog and drives to her place. He lets himself in with the key she gave him a few weeks ago and lets Jethro do the first scouting. When he hears the dog bark happily he thinks it's safe to enter. He finds them in the living room, Ziva sitting on the floor in front of her couch and ruffling the dog's fur before hiding her face in it. Tim just walks over to the armchair and sits, watching them.

"No comment?" she asks after a while, looking at him over Jethro's back before the dog tries licking her face and Ziva gently turns his snout away. Tim shrugs.

"Merry Christmas?" he tries and there's amusement sparkling in her eyes for a brief moment.

"Merry Christmas." she returns, nodding to the tiny artificial tree that sits on her window sill. Spying the presents under it, he rises and walks over. Ironically, the largest one has Jethro's name on it and he laughs when he lifts it up and hears the sound of dog biscuits shaking in a bag. The dog's head shoots up and he stares at Tim, tilting his head to the side slightly.

"No, you're fat enough." Tim shakes his head, setting the present down again and Jethro gives a soft whine, as if he understands him.

"Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you have to be mean to him." Ziva narrows her eyes at her boyfriend before petting the dog again and Jethro plops down next to her, resting his head in her lap. Tim groans lightly. From how they first barely got along he never thought his girlfriend and dog would one day gang up on him. But he supposes it's only natural, because really, isn't that the way it's with kids? The aunt and visiting friends are always the ones spoiling them and letting them get away with things when the parent has to be the strict one? He quickly shakes his head. Jethro's a dog, not a child, and he rather not think about these, anyway.

"If you are going to go by size, look for the smallest one." Ziva's voice cuts through his thoughts and he feels himself blush slightly, because she got him there. Frowning lightly, he lifts the slim rectangular present from the pile and walks over to her to open it.

"Yours is still at my place, do you want me to wait with opening it?" he asks her, suddenly having second thoughts. Ziva shakes her head but grabs the present from him still, toying with it before she puts it on the coffee table. Jethro gets up and retreats to her kitchen where he knows he'll find a bowl of water.

"Did you feed him?" Ziva asks, looking after the dog. Tim shakes his head and she gets up to sit down next to him on the couch. When he frowns lightly she shrugs. "I filled his bowl with some dry food earlier as a treat…" she trails of, reaching up to run a hand through her hair. "You didn't come here for your present, did you?"

"No." he shakes his head, watching her. "I was worried." he admits, reaching out to grab her hand. Ziva turns hers and entwines their fingers, squeezing gently.

"I… needed some time. I went to the hospital and then Arlington before stopping by Tony's apartment." she tells him. Tim frowns slightly. The only reason she visits Jenny Shepard's grave these days is when she is deeply troubled and needs to talk but doesn't know if she wants someone to hear it. Having her go to Tony, of all people… it's confusing. Not to mention that he feels actually hurt that she didn't come to him instead.

"When I went to NCIS to get a change of clothes before going to the hospital, there was a present sitting on my desk, and the tag had Tony's handwriting. When I went to give him one in turn, he actually told me that it wasn't for Christmas, but his way of apologizing for his behavior. He won't go tell on us, but if Abby outright asks him..." Ziva trails off and Tim nods.

"Well, that's a relief." he draws a breath. "Though, I'm a little confused why you went to Arlington?" he quietly asks her and watched Ziva bite her lip.

"I killed a man today. On Christmas Eve. And Gibbs… helped a little girl into the world in the next room. And all I could think about was how that _wasn't fair_." Ziva admits, drawing a shaky breath and looking away from him. Tim scoots closer and pulls her against him gently, feeling her resist briefly before she gives in and rests her head against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry you had to kill him." he mutters, kissing her hair and running his hand up and down her arm. Ziva gives a short laugh.

"It is not being forced to kill." she says, giving a soft sniffle. "He was a threat and had to be taken out."

"What's it then?"

"I ran out of bullets." Ziva mutters, a shiver going through her. "My head wasn't in it, I kept thinking of what was happening to the Marine, how Gibbs was doing, what would happen if I failed… I couldn't concentrate properly. _I missed him with every bullet_." she confides, shivering against him again. Now he's starting to be able to get the picture together. She's angry at herself, but more than that, she's worried and confused. This isn't something that happens to her; she once told him that whenever she engages in a physical fight, her brain shuts out all other thoughts. It's her ability to focus and she takes pride in that, having it suddenly fail her must have been terrifying.

"Well, nothing happened. You got him, in the end." he tries to reassure her but feels her shake her head.

"Don't." she breathes. "Do not brush this away; do not act like it is no big deal. Because it is. At least to me."

She turns slightly and looks up at him and he nods, giving her a gentle kiss.

"Okay." he nods. "What do you want me to do, then?" Ziva hesitates, biting her lip, before drawing a shuddering breath.

"Hold me?" she whispers. He's just about to when she suddenly leans forward to hand him his present again before snuggling up against him. "And open your present."

Tim slowly pulls the red ribbon from the silver package and lifts the top. When he sees what's inside, he gives a bark of laughter and Ziva sits up, frowning at him.

"What is so funny?" she asks him and he holds up the tickets to the National Museum of Crime and Punishment. Her shoulders sag and she looks away, muttering a "I thought you would enjoy that." and he quickly puts her gift away to pull her back against him and kiss her forehead.

"I love it. Honestly." he promises, chuckling lightly. "So much that I figured that it would be the perfect Christmas gift for you."

Ziva stares at him, blinking slowly. "You got me tickets to the National Museum of Crime and Punishment?" she asks and he nods, watching as she relaxes and a small smile starts playing on her lips before she starts laughing. Ziva shakes her head, falling back against him and drawing a calming breath.

"Wow. We really are quite a pair, huh?" she mutters. His arms tighten around her and she senses his shift in mood and turns to look at him. He slowly brushes a curl from her face, nodding.

"Yeah, we are quite a pair." he agrees before kissing her gently. She responds to the kiss and he's just about to slip his hands under her shirt when the scraping of claws on hardwood gives them half a second of warning before Jethro's weight crashes into the couch and he lands partly on the furniture, partly on Ziva.

"Ooof!" his girlfriend groans, shifting and sending the dog tumbling back down, where he sits back on his haunches and gives a short bark, his tongue lolling out.

"You deserve to be locked in the bathroom for that." Tim scolds Jethro before giving Ziva a worried look, but she shakes her head.

"I'm fine." she assures him, leaning back and dangling her hand so that Jethro walks up and she can pet him. It's not his aggressive "That is my human you are stealing my time from" behavior he showed in the beginning when Tim and Ziva got together, but his more endearing "Cuddling? I want in!" that has often delayed their alone-time before. Still, Tim can't help but glare at the dog.

"Come on, it is Christmas. He just wants to be cuddled."

"He's getting in the way of _my_ cuddles." he growls, making Jethro turn his head sharply. "Yes, I am talking about you. Buzz off."

"Tim!" Ziva reprimands him with a laugh and stands, getting their jackets and Jethro's leash. When Tim hesitates to take his jacket, she rolls her eyes. "Come on, we will drive to the park, play in the snow with him for an hour, wear him out. And then we go to your place to get warm again. You and me alone in the bed and Jethro on his blanket in the living room."

He's pretty sure he never beat the dog to the door before.


	15. filler up to 9x12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed a reason why Ziva tears up slightly in 9x12 while talking to EJ and why, despite having a stable relationship, she doesn't think a family will be happening for her anytime soon. Thanks to alidiabin, who made me rewrite it. I actually think it fits better now.

"We… need to talk." Tim slowly says and Ziva looks up from the knitted sweater she just unwrapped from the gift Layla gave her. Seeing his serious expression, she places the garment down on the bed and crosses her arms, waiting.

Tim paces a little before leaning against the small vanity, drawing a slow breath.

"I watched you play with Amira." he starts and a soft smile lights up Ziva's face. They had gone to see them on the 26th. The girl had been running around after Ziva like a puppy and the woman had indulged her, playing with her and helping her unwrap the gifts they had gotten her. It had been obvious how much Ziva enjoyed spending time with the little girl, a huge grin had been plastered on both of their faces the entire time they had stayed over. She transformed whenever she was around Amira. Even though Tim knew her gentle, softer and loving side, it sometimes seemed like she was a completely different person when the amount of love she had to give became apparent. She laughed freely and gave out kisses and became strangely cuddly and carefree when around children. Something he now wished he had known much sooner.

"She is an adorable girl." Ziva's voice pulls him from his thoughts and he swallows, rubbing his hands together as he searches for the right words to broach the topic.

"When you said that you reconsidering your position on marriage… I never asked you what you thought about having children."

Ziva frowns lightly. "Are you asking me now?" she wonders, but to her surprise, he shakes his head.

"No. No, I'm not asking. But I have to tell you something. Something I have kept from you, and… that wasn't fair."

"You are starting to scare me. Please don't tell me you have a child somewhere?" Ziva jokes but Tim's pained expression makes her pale visibly and the humor leaves her quickly.

"I don't. Now will I ever." he breathes, closing his eyes briefly before plunging on. "I'm infertile."

Ziva blinks once, twice, drawing a deep breath. "Okay." she mutters, reaching up to rub her forehead. "Um, what, what makes you say that?" she settles on the question that feels like it has the fewest implications on their future together. Her mind is racing with others, but those she feels that she can't deal with just yet, doesn't want to deal with them and the answers they might bring.

"When you ridiculed Tony about the sperm bank thing…" Tim starts, sighing. "I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I figured that, if anything ever happened, having some frozen sperm somewhere wouldn't be the worst?" he shrugs.

"Wait a second." Ziva holds up her hand, trying to process what he is telling her. "You went, to a sperm bank, to have your sperm frozen in case you lost your fertility for some reason?"

"Yeah. Only it turned out that there wasn't anything to lose there." Tim gives a sarcastic bark of laughter. "They called me two days after and said that I better come in again. The doc was actually pretty nice."

"Tim-" she breathes, a warning edge to her tone that tells him he won't get away with distracting her from the giant elephant in the room.

"Sorry. Um, I don't know how much attention you paid during Science class, but-"

"I was never really interested in biology or reproduction." Ziva cuts him off and hears him sigh.

"Right." Tim nods. "Um, so, sperm cells have a specific form and are covered with enzymes that break the outer membrane of the ovum. Turns out, mine don't. Or at least, the majority of them don't. Enough to make natural conception damn near impossible."

When he finishes, he watches Ziva carefully. She opens her mouth, another frown appearing on her forehead.

"So, basically, you are telling me that when I insisted on condoms a month ago after throwing up, you could've said 'No reason to worry, darling'?" she asks and he sets his jaw.

"It's not funny." Tim presses out and Ziva stands from the bed.

"I was not trying to be funny." she throws at him, running her hand through her hair as she turns her back on him and paces the length of her bedroom before whirling to face him again. "I am… confused. And angry. At you. For not telling me about this sooner. Because I feel like there were moments you could have done so. And it is something big that you have actively kept from me. After Ray and Michael…" she cuts herself off, shaking her head. "Sorry. But I need to be able to trust whoever I am with, and knowing that you decided that this wasn't something I needed to know, it hurts."

He swallows and opens his mouth to say something, but Ziva holds up her hand.

"I wasn't finished. In answer to your not-posed question: I would like to have a child one day. Possibly with you. And I have very limited knowledge about conception, but from what you have told me, it sounds a lot like there is a chance, if we were to go the scientific route."

"Do you wanna have yourself poked and prodded and undergo surgery, for my shortcomings?"

For a second, she is stumped by the maliciousness in his voice, the disdain, until she realized that none of it is aimed at her. Ziva opens her mouth to make a retort but closes it again, clenching her fists and eyes shut before forcing herself to relax. Blowing up at him won't change anything; it won't do any good and only make things worse.

"One, it is not your fault. You didn't choose this, Tim. And yes, if that were what it took, then yes, I would probably do it."

He slowly shakes his head, biting his lip. This isn't fair, not on her. She didn't sign up for this, and she shouldn't be the one to suffer for his deficiencies. He never wanted to hurt her by not telling her immediately, but truth be told, he hadn't really thought that she actually wanted children. He had just assumed that she never really entertained the thought of having them. Yes, that had been a strikingly wrong assumption, but he hadn't wanted to face a possibility of her wanting children and deciding that if he couldn't give her that, that they wouldn't work out. He loves her, so much, and losing her over this… But then again, he can't force this burden on her. Even if it's his fault that he won't be able to father children naturally, it would still be Ziva who'd have to bear the brunt of the medical procedures. Hormone treatment, surgery to extract eggs… It wouldn't be _fair_.

"You don't know what you're talking about." he mutters and looks down at the floor. He more feels her approach than he actually hears her move and doesn't jump when he feels her hand come to rest on his crossed arms.

"Look at me, Tim." she whispers. "Please."

Tim blinks at the tears burning in his eyes before slowly raising his head and looking into hers, surprised to see them swimming with unshed tears.

"I love you." she tells him, reaching up to stroke his cheek. "And this changes nothing about my feelings. I may not know about the medical procedures that would be necessary, but I do know that I can't stand the thought of losing you in any way. Not over something like this."

"But-"

"Answer me one question. In the end, does biological paternity matter to you?" she interrupts him quickly and Tim frowns, thinking. He has a feeling he knows where this is going and he actually went down that route a few times in his thoughts before. Could he love a child when he knew it wasn't his, biologically? Would there be a difference for him, a jealousy even? Would he be able to just go with a sperm donor if it turned out that his wasn't working?

"I…" he starts, cutting himself off. "A little, yes." he finally admits, his heart breaking when he sees her set her jaw briefly. "More for genetic reasons, like, what if the child needed a transplant? With a donor, you'd be the only one we'd know as biological relative that could be a match, and-"

"You always have to go down the most depressing routes, don't you?" Ziva shakes her head, a small smile tugging at her lips as she stands on her tiptoes and kisses his cheek before pulling him down so she can rest her forehead against his. "We have to talk about it, but right now I want you to know that I don't care who the biological father is. You'd be the Dad, the one raising the child, with me. We'd still be a family. And if you are so opposed to that, we could try adoption, or not have children at all."

"But you want one." he protests.

"Maybe. But wanting and needing are two different things." Ziva breathes, rubbing her nose against his as she draws a shuddering breath. "I _want_ a child. But it is you that I _need._ " she clarifies, a tear rolling down her cheek. Tim feels his breath catch in his throat and wraps his arms around her tightly, pulling her to him to get as close as possible and hiding his face in her neck, one question running through his head.

_What did I do to deserve you?_


	16. 9x12 tag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tim mentions in _Housekeeping_ that both Tony and Ziva didn't attend the New Year's Eve party but that he did.

"Are you _still_ mad at me?"

The moment the words leave her mouth, she flinches. She didn't follow him into the men's room to argue with him again.

Tim frowns and hits the tab rather hard, washing his hands and shaking them as well as his head.

"No." he tells her, giving her a short glare when he finds her blocking the access to the paper towels. Ziva pulls two from the dispenser and hands them to him, her fingers brushing his. The moment they do, his eyes snap to hers and Tim deflates slightly. "No, I'm not mad at you." he mutters, throwing away the used towels as Ziva invades his personal space.

"I am sorry I did not spend New Year's Eve with you." she apologizes, her voice barely above a whisper as she reaches up to take his face into her hands. "I am sorry I didn't call or text and forgot my phone at the gym. And I am sorry that Ray still hasn't gotten the message." she murmurs, pulling him down for a soft kiss. Tim sighs against her lips, his hands coming to rest on her hips. He pulls her against him, resting his forehead against hers.

"I just, I missed you. It was supposed to be our night. Our first New Year's together." he breathes.

"I know. And I really _am_ sorry, sweetheart." she responds, cringing. He leans back and raises an eyebrow and Ziva shakes her head. "Maybe pet names aren't for us." she gives a sheepish shrug.

"Maybe." Tim nods, slowly stepping away from her, but Ziva gently catches the wrist of his hand.

"You know that the only reason I want to hear from him is to make sure he finally has gotten it into his head that we are through and I am with you now, right?"

Tim slowly nods, despite the torturing thoughts in his head. What if she didn't want to be with him anymore, now that she knows? What if she suddenly thought that she was better off with the CIA agent, who at least could give her a child? "Still, I don't like watching my girlfriend wait for another guy's call." he tells her.

Ziva gave a soft sigh, rubbing a hand over her eyes. "I know."

When she opens her mouth again, the door to the men's room opens and Tony sticks his head in, his eyes pressed tightly shut.

"I don't wanna know what you're doing." he tells them and Tim rolls his eyes in exasperation.

"But the Bossman is looking for you and I don't think he'll be happy with finding you both in the men's room. Doing whatever it is you're doing." the senior field agent continues before disappearing again.

"Guess we have to postpone this." Tim sighs, and Ziva slowly lets go of his wrist.

"Yeah, I guess so." she agrees, letting him open the door for her and walking to the bullpen, not even caring if anyone saw her emerge from the men's room this time.

* * *

He's trying to put together a new book case after Jethro somehow knocked the old one down when he hears the door to his apartment open and close. He tenses for a moment until he hears Ziva's distinctive steps and Jethro runs over to greet her. Moments later, cold hands briefly rest on his neck before she presses a soft kiss to it.

"Need help?" she offers and Tim shrugs.

"Yeah. Can you hold these together?" he asks her as she kneels down beside him and gestures to the two boards. She leans over him and he briefly stares down her shirt before setting out to finish this damn piece of furniture. With her, it takes considerable less time, though they barely share a word with each other. He can feel the tension in Ziva build when he doesn't respond to her attempts at small talk and almost feels bad, but he really is in no mood to do any talking.

"Ray called." Ziva tells him once the bookcase is up and they are putting his books back on the shelves. He pauses briefly, his grip on the encyclopedia he is holding tightening and he puts it on the shelf with so much force that it shakes the entire bookcase.

"Did you have a nice talk?" The words are out before he can stop himself. Ziva whirls around, her back to him and he watches her hug herself, her hands digging into her sides. Tim swallows hard and takes a step towards her, running his hand down her back gently in an attempt to sooth her, but she steps away from his touch. "I'm sorry, Ziva." he apologizes and she turns around again, anger burning in her dark eyes.

"I did not lie when I said that I had pulled a muscle during sparring and that I wouldn't have been able to spend an evening in high heels anyway. Should I have tried to call you when I realized that I had forgotten my cell phone at the gym? Yes. Did I think that you would only take it as a way for me to get out of spending time with you after our recent tension? Perhaps. Did I want some time alone? Maybe. But I did not do it on purpose." she presses out, giving him a warning look when he attempts to touch her again.

"It's just…"

" _You_ are the one who is shutting me out, for whatever reason." she reminds him sharply, her voice cutting. "I explained, I apologized for New Year's Eve, and frankly, there is not much else I can do. And for the record, I did not have a _nice talk_ with my ex-boyfriend."

Tim sets his jaw and opens his mouth to suggest that maybe, she should leave him alone, but then he suddenly notices the underlying worry in her dark eyes and sighs.

"What did he say?" he asks, watching as she narrows her eyes at him.

"I do not wish to repeat it." she shakes her head, taking a step towards his couch to sit down but hesitating, as if not sure if she is welcome to stay. God, he hates this. "But the floor line is: he still hasn't got it into his head that he and I are over."

"Bottom." Tim corrects her. "Bottom line, not floor line." he elaborates when he sees her confused expression and Ziva gives a small nod to acknowledge the correction, making him wonder suddenly how much her thoughts are troubling her when she makes mistakes with words and phrases she never used to have a problem with.

"Doesn't change the fact." she mutters, jumping lightly when her cell phone in her pocket goes off. She takes it out and instantly, her expression transforms from slightly anxious to annoyed. She shows him the display briefly before turning it off and throwing it on his couch, where it bounces off due to the force of her throw and finally lands on the floor.

Tim walks over to her, standing in front of her and looking down.

"I'm sorry." he mutters and Ziva looks up at him sharply. "It's… hard… for me. And at the party, I felt like you had stood me up. And I started thinking that you might reconsider, given-"

Ziva reaches up, covering his mouth with her hand.

"Not reconsidering us. Never, not because of something as unimportant as this." she shakes her head, removing her hand when he raises his eyebrows pointedly.

"It's not unimportant to me." he tells her, opening his arms and Ziva steps into them, hers encircling his waist.

"I know." she mutters against his chest as he runs his hands up and down her back. "I know."


	17. 9x13 tag, pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned into a complete rewrite of the episode.

He doesn't exactly know why Tony wants to play this stupid game; especially since they both know he's already together with Ziva, hence 'getting some'. But then Tim figures that maybe, his friend is going through a rather long dry spell and just wants to be cheered up by the fact that Tim's was probably even longer, until he got together with Ziva. And anyways, where is the harm in humoring DiNozzo?

"Okay, Maxine." he gives up and tells him the last woman he slept with.

"Oh, the gamer girl?" his colleague asks, nodding in appreciation. "She was pretty. Wait a minute, that was like, a year ago."

Tim rolls his eyes at him.

"Ten months, actually. Well, six, considering, you know." he nods pointedly in the direction of Ziva's desk.

Their conversation is cut short when Ziva arrives, sneaking up on Tony and spooking him, which brings a small smile to Tim's face. She has been a tad distant lately, and rarely worked with him against Tony. Sometimes, she feels withdrawn, but then again, he gets it, and it's not exactly like he is the poster boy for open recently. He's still trying to figure out if she is actually okay with the news he dealt her, and now with Ray bothering her, too… It's a lot.

He knows she's still hurt that he kept it from her and feels like he actually lied to her, though she seems to understand why he did it. Still, it hurts to know that he caused her emotional pain and can't really help her deal with it, either.

He caught her ignoring Ray's phone calls again when they are together and letting them go straight to voicemail and dared to make the comment that maybe, she should talk to him in person again. Ziva just glared at him before switching her cell phone of completely and unplugging the landline at her apartment, he got the message that any attempt of help coming from him when it concerns dealing with her ex-boyfriend is not appreciated.

So when she asks him for the favor of blocking a secure number, he wishes she hadn't done it at the office, least of all in front of Tony. Because he's afraid of really starting to fight with her when others may overhear, and he's well aware that Tony will never let him live that down.

"Wouldn't belong to CI-Ray, would it?" the senior agent promptly asks, his tone suggesting curiosity at why she is asking her current boyfriend about that favor as well as about her addressing him as 'McGee'. Because even though they try not to let their relationship creep into their work, they have been a lot more friendly with each other lately, and he knows that Ziva has called him 'Tim' a couple of times, too.

But Ziva shoots Tony down quickly, her tone suggesting that the next words coming from her if he continues questioning her will be some threat of bodily harm.

And then Tony's phone rings shortly after Ziva's, and for a second, Tim is tempted to shove him against the file cabinet, but then he catches the other man's gaze and knows that Tony is not joking about Ray calling him. And Tim feels anger well up inside of him. The nerve of that man! First he keeps pestering Ziva and now he calls her colleagues to get in contact. And _a couple's massage_? When she has made it very clear that she is already in a relationship with someone else? Or maybe, the nagging voice at the back of his head insists, she did not make it that clear to Ray. His own phone ringing makes him want to have a few words with the CIA agent and tell him exactly where he can shove his massage, but Ziva still wants him to ignore it, so he does. Right then is not the time to tick her off even more; this is a conversation they better have in private, away from the eyes and ears of the others.

Surprisingly, Gibbs doesn't lose a single word over the fact that Ziva's ex even called him to get through to her, though Tim wonders what the man told the CIA agent when he discovered the purpose of that call… And just why Ray is so insistent on talking to her all of a sudden.

* * *

"Hey." Tim softly says once Tony and Gibbs are tending to the detective. Ziva looks up from her paperwork, raising an eyebrow.

"How long has he been trying to call you again?" he asks her and his girlfriend gives a soft sigh, getting up and walking past his desk towards the break room, tapping his desk on her way past. Tim gets up to follow her. In the break room, she casts a quick glance around and then quickly hugs him, hiding her face in his neck before taking a step back, wiping at the moisture in her eyes.

"He's been trying constantly since last night." she tells him, shaking her head. "I switched off my phone and pulled the landline and woke up to 35 missed calls and 19 text messages."

Tim gives a soft whistle.

"Impressive." he comments dryly and she looks up at him, furrowing her brows. "I can block him, if you really want me to. But I still think that maybe, you should actually talk to him in person. Perhaps he just needs a clean break, you know? See you one last time to get it into his head…" Tim trails off when she shakes her head.

"I don't want to see him!" Ziva hisses, angrily wiping at the moisture in her eyes. "After leaving without a proper explanation, after ignoring me for weeks, he suddenly decides that he is bored and actually cared? Too late!" she exclaims.

"Hey, okay, I get it." Tim quickly assures her, raising his hands slightly to calm her down. Ziva clenches her eyes shut and takes a shuddering breath, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry." she mutters, opening her eyes and reaching out to touch his hand with hers. "It is not your fault, and I know it must be hard for you, too, but I just, I can't deal with him. I don't want to explain it again and again. I'm tired, Tim." she whispers, and he steps close again, hugging her and pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

"Just give me the number and he won't be able to reach you again." he mutters into her hair and feels her nod, her hold on his shirt tightening briefly before she lets go and takes a step back, composing herself before they leave the break room again.

* * *

It's as if Tony can sense that something is afoot with the two of them. He keeps coming back to the damn dry spell topic and Tim is about ready to rip that damn ball out of his hand and shove it down the other man's throat.

He's still trying to research how to block a secure number when that number does not transmit the actual extension when it is used to call someone, and he could really use some quiet. It's not as if Ziva has given him the number yet, she's down with Abby, catching a break from the case, but he really wants to help her and have everything ready when she needs him to.

And then Tony suddenly starts acting all mature and profound.

"There's gotta be more than just an endless stream of pretty woman." the senior agent says, sighing.

"There is." Tim nods, his eyes drifting towards the desk opposite of Tony's.

"Yeah, well, I haven't found it yet, have I?"

"You looking for love, Tony?" Tim outright asks him, wondering where this is coming from all of a sudden.

"Yeah, well, look at Gibbs. Married four times, still trying to figure it out." he sighs. "Hey, how do you two make it work?" Tony asks him and Tim raises an eyebrow. "Come on, look at Ziva. She's like… a bad Israeli romance novel. Not exactly the picture of emotional stability, is she?"

Tim's eyes widen slightly when he sees her walking in, file in hand, and watches as her soft smile falters and the upbeat slight spring in her step vanishes yet again. Instead, her patented "pissed off" look is back on her face as well as creeping into her voice when she snaps at Tony.

"Are you saying that I'm emotionally unstable?" Tony asks her in return, straightening his tie.

"More like, emotionally challenged." Tim teases when Ziva merely raises an eyebrow.

"Nobody asked you!" Tony snaps at him, clearly not amused to have the couple suddenly ganging up on him. But then Gibbs is back and their conversation is cut short, and once Gibbs disappears, Ziva grabs her coat and declares she is going out to get lunch, ignoring Tony's exasperated yell that they have an assignment from Gibbs.

"Leave her." Tim tells him, shaking his head.

"Come on, you can't actually want to do this yourself." Tony whines.

"Tony…" Tim starts, shaking his head and deciding to give up any remaining pretense that everything is just peachy. "She's having a hard time. Just, leave her be? Cut her some slack, and most of all, stop teasing her." he asks the man. Tony frowns lightly, worry creeping into his features.

"You two have a fight?" he asks him and Tim wants to tell him no, but then that would probably be a lie.

"Not really. Just a disagreement over how to handle the CIA agent that turned into a damn boomerang." he sighs while clicking away on his keyboard.

"Huh." Tony bounces on his feet lightly. "She gonna be okay?"

Tim looks up at him again, thankful for the caring tone. Maybe Tony actually does know when to stop teasing and get serious.

"In time, she will." he tells the man, who purses his lips and then shrugs.

"Okay." Tony declares, retreating to his desk to get started on their job with an amount of eagerness and energy that Tim has rarely seen. "Stop staring, McWideeye, we're one man short and Gibbs won't let that count when he comes back wanting results." Tony says, not even looking up from the file on his desk and Tim gives a soft grin.

"Thanks, Tony." he softly says before returning to his own computer screen.

* * *

In hindsight, she should have known that Ray would somehow come back to bite her in the ass. That how her past usually works, after all, it hides before it suddenly jumps up on her and then she is so lost that she has hardly any idea of how to react.

"I'm gonna start charging him minutes."

"Tell me you have not been talking to my ex-boyfriend." Ziva demands, rolling her eyes.

"Well, he called again. Though it wasn't the ex variety I actually talked to." Tony admits, watching her out of the corner of his eyes.

"Unbelievable! You're supposed to be on my side." she hisses, shaking her head in disappointment.

"Look, you're both my friends, I'm not gonna _pick sides_. He didn't even tell me what you two had fought over." Tony explains, and suddenly, she feels really bad for her immediate reaction. It seems rather petty.

"I'm sorry, it's just… I do not want to talk to Ray. I just, want him _gone_."

"I can understand that." Tony nods.

"Thank you!" Ziva exclaims, drawing a deep breath. "But he keeps calling and emailing and texting and then Tim tells me I should talk to him in person, give him closure or something and I just-" she suddenly cuts off, visibly deflating. Tony shrugs, bumping her shoulder lightly.

"Your choice. You know what you can handle, and if you don't wanna see him, then no one's gonna force you."

Ziva looks at him, a grateful smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Thank you." she whispers, and he sees the dimple starting to appear, the one he noticed she gets when she's desperately trying to remain in control of her emotions but is quickly losing the fight against tears.

"So, why did you ever break up with him?" Tony's voice pulls her from her thoughts and she kicks at the gravel on the floor of the roof of the house.

"Who?" she asks, trying to play dumb and he gives her a look telling her that he isn't buying it and that she's just wasting her energy on him. Ziva draws a deep breath and shrugs.

"He… did not… appreciate me." she slowly says, blinking at the sudden tears in her eyes. She forgot how much that realization had stung when she first came to it.

"Are you serious?" Tony asks her, his eyes widening. "The guy went skiing with you and to the opera and-"

"I am not talking about gifts, Tony." she cuts him off angrily. "He… Whenever we were together, I never… felt like I was his first priority. Yes, he was nice and very welcoming and we had a good time. But he'd always glance at his cell phone, as if almost begging someone to call. He was always waiting for another mission, another chance to prove himself, and… that was not what I wanted." she admits.

"Well, what did you want?" Tony prompts her and she sighs.

"Permanence. Stability. Love." Ziva shrugs, looking away. "In a way, your father was right. I was looking for someone to sweep me off my feet, but not just that. I wanted that person to fall with me, and at the same time to be there to catch me. I guess I had ridiculous expectations."

Tony purses his lips, rocking on the balls of his feet.

"And McGoogle? Does he, _sweep you off your feet_?" he asks her with a soft smile, one that Ziva can't help returning.

"No." she shakes her head. "He doesn't have to." At Tony's frown, she elaborates: "He is there whenever I need him. I can pick up the phone at two in the morning and he will answer on the second ring and let me talk to him. He lets me rearrange his furniture and feed Jethro treats; he goes to the movies with me and tells me about the last book he read… He likes being with _me_ and it doesn't matter if we are at a fancy restaurant or on one of our couches, what matters is that we are _together_ and spending quality time with each other."

Ziva draws a deep breath and looks down at her shoes. "And I…" she trails off, looking up.

"And you what?" Tony frowns at her, but flickering lights in the building of their crime scene have captured her attention and they are already racing down the roof to catch whoever is trying to tamper with it.

* * *

She doesn't want to talk to Ray. But for the case, she has to. There is a man grieving his wife and she needs to do everything they can to solve the murder, to give the man closure. So for another person's sake, she'll ignore the instincts screaming at her to run in the other direction whenever her ex-boyfriend comes up.

She doesn't even have to make an effort, just wait for his next call and tell him she has work related questions, insisting on a public place to meet. And she makes sure McGee hears her end of the conversation loud and clear, never for a second wanting him to believe that she is in any way looking forward to meeting the CIA agent.

"Why are you not returning my calls?" is the first thing Ray says when she shows up and Ziva wants to say screw it and just leave again. Instead, she bites her tongue and takes a slow breath.

"I'm not here for private conversation. We need to talk about the Commander." she tells him, her tone all business. He answers her questions almost too easily, but she is too relieved to finally be done with him for good.

"In that case, we are through here. Thank you, Agent Cruz." she nods, turning and starting to walk away from him, having to really control herself to not start running. She hasn't taken three steps when she hears him get up behind her and clenches her eyes shut briefly.

"Ziva, come on. Are you going to keep ignoring me?" he asks, hurrying after her.

"We are no longer a couple and once this case is over I do not see a reason for us to interact with each other." she snaps at him. Ray quickly steps around her and grabs her arm and she actually feels repulsed by it. This is wrong; he is not allowed to touch her, not as intimate like that. He lost that right a long time ago.

"Please, we can make it work." he insists and she halts in her steps to prevent herself from bumping into him.

"You were not there, Ray." she reminds him, shaking her head. "You were _never_ there."

"I am here now." he argues, reaching for her, but she slaps his hand away, not missing the flash of hurt in his eyes and the somewhat perverse satisfaction it gives her in turn. "It was just one screw up, how can you throw all the months we had together away because of it?"

Ziva snorts, shaking her head. Clearly, he still does not get it.

"It was not about one screw up, Ray." she shakes her head, giving him a warning look when he makes to touch her again. "You clearly did not care."

"That is not true!" he argues and for a second, she almost pities him. "Ziva, please. I won't ever hurt you again, just give me another chance."

Slowly, she shakes her head.

"It's too late for that. You had your chances." she tells him, brushing past him. His voice calls her back, though.

"I love you."

Ziva halts in her steps, slowly turning around again, at a loss for words. Before she can find new ones to make him understand that it is over between them, though, she watches with ever growing horror as Ray reaches into his pocket while slowly going down on one knee.

"Ziva David, will you marry me?"


	18. 9x13 tag, pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second part of the _Desperate Man_ rewrite.

_previously on_ "Fools Who Fell Behind"

_Ziva halts in her steps, slowly turning around again, at a loss for words. Before she can find new ones to make him understand that it is over between them, though, she watches with ever growing horror as Ray reaches into his pocket while slowly going down on one knee._

_"Ziva David, will you marry me?"_

* * *

The eyes of the people around them are burning into her as Ziva searches for a way to shoot him down yet again without causing a major scene. She was never a fan of public proposals, but this; this has to be a new low on the long list of why exactly they suck.

"Get up." she hisses at him, trying her best not to yell and scream at him like she really wants to. How can he even _consider_ putting her in this situation?

"Not until you say yes." Ray shakes his head and she quickly bridges the gap between them, pulling him to his feet. She won't let him blackmail her into saying yes to a man she does not want anything to do with any longer by proposing to her in public.

"This is embarrassing!" she hisses at him.

"So you don't wanna marry me?" Ray asks her and she whirls around.

"No, Ray, I don't want to marry you!" Ziva shouts, shaking her hand from his grasp as she glares at him. "We. Are _. Through_." she presses out through clenched teeth. "There is no you and I, there is no _us_ anymore. We are done, finished. I am with someone else, someone I love very much, and you need to move on with your life."

And with that, she leaves him standing at the park, hurrying towards her parked car. Behind the wheel, she closes her eyes and rests her forehead against the steering wheel, trying to collect herself before she turns the key in the ignition and drives back to the Navy Yard, her mind still whirling.

* * *

Some days feel like they will never end. This is definitely one of the bad ones that do.

"So, what did CI-Ray have to say?" Tony asks her when they are alone in the bullpen. Tim hasn't been around since she walked in and she didn't have a chance to talk to him yet about what transpired at the park.

"He didn't have contact with our victim in over a month." Ziva informs him, keeping her eyes on her paperwork.

"You know that I wasn't talking about the case." Tony insists and she sighs, taping her pencil against the paper. "Let me guess," he continues on when she fails to answer immediately, "he went down on one knee." he jokes.

Shocked, Ziva looks up at him, only to be greeted with a similar expression.

"You knew he would propose to me?"

"Wait a second, he actually did?" Tony asks, his eyes widening.

"Yes. Did he mention it to you?" she asks, frowning.

"Yeah, but that was when he was first here. Months ago." the older man shakes his head. Ziva slowly crosses her arms and legs, bouncing her foot lightly before running a hand through her hair.

"I don't understand what he thought he was going to accomplish by it." she reveals and Tony shrugs.

"Guy's probably desperate. He wants you back, figures he has to show you he's in for the long haul." he marvels. "What did the ring look like?"

"I… wasn't paying attention." she tries to evade the topic by returning to her paperwork, but Tony's short bark of laughter lets her know that he's having none of that.

"Come on, you're an Israeli woman, am I supposed to believe that you didn't even glance at it?" he grins and Ziva shakes her head, drawing an exasperated breath.

"Okay, maybe I did." she admits.

"And?"

"And… if anything, it made it even more obvious that we are not on the same page." she shakes her head.

"Huh?"

"The rock was huge. It just, wasn't me." Ziva shakes her head. "Plus, anyone who proposes to me in public clearlydoesn't know me well enough to get married to me."

"Oh, you should have seen my proposal." Tony starts telling her about it with a dreamy look on his face and even though she knows he is being overly dramatic and tries to distract her from her own thoughts by it, she is immensely thankful for his attempts at humor.

"Wanna share something, DiNozzo?" Gibbs breaks up their conversation and slacking off.

"Um, not exactly, boss." the senior agent shakes his head.

"Then why do I have to listen to the tale of you proposing to someone?" the boss continues on and before he can stop himself, Tony looks at Ziva. "Ziver?" Gibbs asks and she gives a soft sigh.

"Ray still doesn't seem to have gotten the message. Instead of finally backing off, he asked me to marry him." she informs her boss, a little surprised to see him raise a questioning eyebrow. "Of course I said no!"

"Good." Gibbs nods, not getting in another word as Abby and McGee return to the squad room. Ziva doesn't miss the concerned look Tim throws at her and she gives a minute shake of her head, indicating that now is not a good time and praying that this won't backfire on them.

* * *

Her resolution not to bring it up at work crumbles to pieces on the drive to the boat as she feels her anxiety mount and the need to talk to Tim build. And while she is aware that on the job is a bad time to have a discussion like this, she is thankful for going under the deck with Tim.

"So, what did Ray say?" he asks her while opening a cabinet.

"He, uh, went down on one knee." she tells him.

"I think you mean 'out on a limb'." Tim corrects her and Ziva swallows.

"No. I mean he actually did drop to one knee, pulled out a box -with a ring this time around- and asked me to marry him." Ziva informs him, turning to look into his face. Which morphs from surprised to shocked to angry to wounded.

"Are you serious?" Tim yells and Ziva quickly reaches up to cover his mouth with her hand.

"Relax, I told him no. And I think he may have actually gotten the message this time around." she assures him, slowly letting go when she feels Tim relax slowly.

"Sorry. But what the hell was he thinking?" Tim shakes his head, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Do not worry about it. Please?" Ziva asks him gently, stroking his cheek briefly.

"Yeah, well, your ex-boyfriend asked you to marry him. It's kinda a big deal." he mutters, resuming their search with slumping shoulders.

"If anything, that proposal only drove home that we would never have been compatible." Ziva informs him as she, too, picks up their work again.

"You, uh, you wouldn't?" Tim asks her, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. Ziva halts in her movements and then shakes her head.

"No, we wouldn't." she confirms, looking over her shoulder at him. "But for what it is worth, I think we are, compatible. Very much so." she whispers and Tim gives her a soft smile before opening a hatch and finding the lockbox.

* * *

"No!" she yells into her cell phone before hanging up. It's Tony's hand on her wrist that prevents her from smashing the device against the nearest wall.

"Trouble?" he asks her and Ziva opens her mouth, a sharp reminder to mind his own business on her tongue. But his eyes are full of concern and she suddenly finds the anger leaving her body. She sighs and shakes her head, holding up the cell phone.

"He still hasn't gotten it into his head." she mutters, leaning back against the wall. Tony raises an eyebrow, a silent invitation for her to continue, to tell him what happened now. And she knows that she should be talking about this with Tim, but now she worries that he is getting hurt about this, too. Understandably, since another man is continuing to make advances at his girlfriend. And she could really do with someone to talk to…

"He has rented a private jet so we can fly to Miami to tell his parents about the engagement."

Tony winces and leans against the wall next to her.

"And now?" he asks and she shrugs.

"I don't know." Ziva shakes her head, hiding her face in her hands briefly. "I have no idea how to make him get it. And at this point, I am considering a restraining order if he keeps this up."

"You know," Tony slowly starts, a thoughtful expression on his face, "maybe he's just, full of regret." he starts and Ziva frowns at him. "Seeing the Detective, how much he misses his wife, how much he _loved_ her… It got me thinking. Ray lost you. He screwed up, and now he regrets not fighting for you sooner."

Ziva takes a second to take in his statement and to contemplate it.

"So, what do I do?" she asks him and Tony shrugs.

"No idea. Sorry." he apologizes and then Gibbs rushes past them and they follow him back to the squad room.

* * *

The second she glimpses the number on Gibbs' screen, she feels her stomach drop.

Oh, please, no. Not _again._

The last thing she needs is this, more involvement of Ray in this case, this entire damn mess.

On the way down to Abby, she suddenly realizes that this might be the final chance to get rid of him for good, to drive him away. If he lied to her yet again, then she has a valid reason, one that he will hopefully finally understand.

"This is so exciting!" Abby exclaims and Ziva frowns lightly at her. "I will have you know, I am a weirdly gifted wedding planner."

"Abby…" Ziva starts, wondering briefly who told her about the proposal, but her friend rambles on, until she can't help but raise her voice. "Abby!" she snaps, making the other woman jump slightly at the sudden harshness of her tone. "Ray and I are no longer a couple." she informs her and Abby's face falls before a frown disappears on it.

"But, I thought he had proposed to you? Did you ditch him after he asked you to marry him? Because if you did-"

Ziva quickly shakes her head. "No. I broke up with him months ago, but he has gotten it into his head that he should fight for me like this."

"Well, maybe, if you give him another chance-"

"It is too late for that." Ziva interrupts her. "And I do not wish to discuss this right now, Abby. I need your help with something."

"Oooo-kay." Abby slowly says before she starts working her magic.

* * *

As much as she wished to get rid of Ray, this wasn't exactly her favorite scenario. Actually, it was not even on the list.

"Hey. Where are your bags?" Ray asks her and she pulls out a copy of Norton's phone records, handing it over.

"Let me explain-"

"There is nothing to explain!" Ziva interrupts him sharply. "You killed an innocent woman, and then proposed to me. Were you just trying to find out where we were in the investigation, how close we were to uncovering the truth?" she yells at him and Ray flinches.

"It's not like that!" he returns, making a grab for her again. Ziva quickly takes a step back, raising her hands in a defensive gesture.

"Really? Then what was it like? Because it feels like you have been using me all along, all the months we have been together."

"The Commander wasn't supposed to be there, Norton was my only target. She was a mistake." he tries to explain and Ziva shakes her head.

"Like we were." she tells him, her eyes blazing. "You lied to me. About _everything_. Your involvement in to Port-to-Port killer case, where you were going on assignments… And after months that we were over and you did not attempt to contact me, you suddenly decide that you want to fight for me? You had your chance, Ray, and you wasted it. I was happy, with Tim. Why couldn't you just leave me alone?"

"Ziva-"

"If you really loved me, you would have let me go." she shakes her head, turning and walking from the hangar, leaving others to deal with Ray and what he did. Sitting down in the car next to Gibbs, she suddenly feels the stress of the last few weeks catch up with her and she closes her eyes, resting her head against the headrest.

"CIA confirms that Ray violated orders by taking Norton out on US soil." Gibbs' soft voice cuts through her whirling thoughts and she opens her eyes again, sitting up. "It's over."

When she doesn't answer, she feels him reach over and his hand settles at the nape of her neck, gently stroking her hair and skin and she has to close her eyes again against the fresh flood of tears. How can so little a touch bring so much comfort, and why does he know exactly what to do and say when her own father had never been able to bring her any comfort or deal with her emotional distress?

"What can I do?" he asks and Ziva draws a shuddering breath.

"Drive?" she asks, giving a minute shake of her head. "Just, drive."

Without another word, Gibbs turns the key in the ignition and takes them back on the road.

* * *

When Tim walks into the bullpen, he catches her trying to murder her cell phone yet again.

"Okay, gimme that." he walks over and wants to take it from her hands but Ziva holds it out of his reach.

"I got it." she shakes her head and he takes a step back, watching her growing frustration. "This thing isn't even turning on!" she mutters under her breath and he can't hide the grin at her frustration before he sobers.

"You know, it's okay to ask for help." he mutters and Ziva looks up, her eyes snapping to his. Her breath seems to hitch in her throat before she lets it out slowly and wordlessly holds out her cell phone.

"Thank you." she whispers when he takes it and opens the back.

"Technology is my thing." he shrugs.

"I wasn't talking about that." Ziva clarifies and he looks at her with a confused frown on his face. "Thank you, for being you." she whispers. "I am sorry about how I have been lately. It was just… a lot to deal with. Still-"

"It's okay." he assures her, snapping the lid of her cell phone shut again. "I understand."

The chirp from the device in his hand makes her give a soft smile and when she takes it from his hand, her touch lingers, warm against the palm of his hand.

"Detective Burris." Tim breaks the contact when he sees the man approach.

"Sorry. I know it's late, but I heard you got the guy who did it?" the man asks and Tim casts a quick glance at Ziva.

"Yeah. We apprehended him earlier. It's-"

"Who was he?" Burris interrupts him and Tim can hear Ziva take a shuddering breath.

"His name is Ray Cruz. And he will never hurt anyone again. Ever." she assures the heartbroken widower, who seems to contemplate her statement briefly before he nods.

"Thank you." he gives her a soft, sad smile and Tim bends down to pick up his backpack as Ziva follows suit.

"So, uh, how long have the two of you been together?" Burris asks them on the way to the elevator and they share a surprised look.

"What makes you say that?" Tim wonders and Burris turns a sad smile in his direction.

"Maya used to look at me like that." the man shrugs and Tim sees a soft blush creep up Ziva's face.

"Few months." he admits as they board the elevator. Burris nods, thoughtfully.

"That's good. Everyone of us needs someone to love and someone who loves us." he sighs. "Don't let that slip away."

Ziva turns to him and her hand finds his, giving it a tight squeeze.

"We won't." she nods, and Tim can suddenly feel a big weight lift off his shoulders.

"No, we won't." he assures her as he squeezes back. _  
_


	19. filler up to 9x14

Ziva shakes her head, grabbing her glass of wine and leaning back into the couch cushions. She had missed this, those evenings with Abby they had usually once every other week, where they got together to cook and talk and sometimes watch a movie. She felt that for some reason, ever since Frank's death and despite how close the team had come in that moment; they had drifted apart over the last few months, especially after Cade's death. Then again the Israeli was aware that part of that was her own fault as she had kept Abby at arm's length, afraid the other woman would find out about her and Tim being a couple. But it wasn't as if Abby had tried to spend time with her, either…

Suddenly, she became aware of Abby staring at her, and the serious expression on the black-haired woman's face did nothing to calm her nerves.

"What?" Ziva asked, frowning lightly.

"Why didn't you tell me you and Ray had broken up?" the Forensic Scientists asked her and Ziva gave a soft sigh, setting down her glass and grabbing one of the cushions to have something that she could occupy her hands with. She ran her nail along one of the lines of the elaborate stitch pattern, searching for the right words.

"I… did not feel like talking about it?" she tried, feeling guilty when she saw Abby's face fall. "I am sorry, Abby. You are a good friend, but I honestly did not want to speak about what had happened between Ray and me. I felt… like a failure. Another one of my relationships had just ended, and granted, it had been on my terms, but that did not make it hurt less."

"But I could have distracted you. Cheered you up." Abby frowned and Ziva shook her head again.

"I was not in the mood for that. I am sorry if I hurt you by keeping it to myself, but… I did not wish to explain anything, to anyone. I just wanted to, what is the word? Mope? Just feel sorry for myself, and I did not need someone else to watch that."

Her friend seemed to mull it over before she shrugged and took a sip of her own wine. Abby had suggested coming over tonight and Ziva had looked forward to drinking lots of wine and talking the night away again, with silly and serious topics alike.

"Makes sense." Abby declared before narrowing her eyes at Ziva. "But since you kept the break-up from me, you now have to tell me who you're dating now."

Ziva's eyes widened in shock before she could reign in her reaction.

"What?" she breathed, thankful that she hadn't been drinking when Abby asked her. "What makes you think that I am dating anyone?"

Abby rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on!" she exclaimed, an amused sparkle in her green eyes. "Sometimes you show up at crime scenes in the middle of the night, still wearing the same things you did when you left the office hours ago and smelling of someone's cologne. You're really cheerful a lot of the time when you show up in my lab like that, despite the fact that you were woken for a dead body. Or at least, dragged out of bed." she pointed out, her eyes twinkling with mischief and Ziva couldn't help the blush that was coloring her cheeks. "When you got back from Afghanistan," Abby continued, "you told me that someone was already picking you up and you didn't need a lift from the airport. And, in the two hours that you have been here, you've gotten three texts and replied to all of them, and there was that smile on your face that said it wasn't work related." she finished, proud of herself. "So spill. Who is he?"

Ziva could feel her heart starting to beat faster as she drew a deep breath. There was no point in lying to Abby. Both she and Tim had agreed that they wouldn't do that. And Abby and he were only friends now. Okay, they had been a couple once, and maybe Ziva had thought that perhaps, they still had some… latent feelings for each other, but Tim insisted that there was no such thing for him and he was pretty sure that all Abby felt for him nowadays was only deep friendship.

That didn't change that Ziva and him had been going out for months now, and they kept it from Abby. Not to mention that both Gibbs and Tony already knew about it. Well, granted, they did not outright tell them, but more stumbled upon it themselves so that there had been no point denying it. Still…

"Before I tell you," Ziva started slowly, "you have to believe me that I did not mean to keep this from you for so long. It was just, we were unsure of you would take it, and I did not want you to be mad, at either one of us…" she said and watched Abby frown.

"Okay, now I'm confused. Why should I be mad at you?" she asked and Ziva drew a deep breath.

"Because the man I am dating, that I am in a relationship with… it's Tim." she revealed, slowly letting out her breath. Abby blinked and slowly set down her glass.

"You… and Tim?" she stammered, looking at her friend with an unreadable expression. Ziva swallowed and nodded silently, bracing herself for the storm. "Wow." Abby breathed, shaking her head and standing. She paced in front of the coffee table, crossing her arms before whirling to face Ziva.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, but before Ziva could even form an answer in her head, the Forensic Scientist rambled on. "I mean, yeah, we have been together in the past, but, while he's a great guy, it just wouldn't have worked out. We're just friends. Did you think I'd be mad at you? How could you? You're both my friends, and if you're happy with this, I'm happy for you. Why wouldn't you tell me about this sooner? Have I said something, did I make it seem like I was still interested in him? Because I'm not, really. I mean, he's nice and good looking and a real friend, but just that, a friend. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Abby!" Ziva cut through her rambling and sighed when she saw Abby's eyes widen in shock. "I am sorry, but you were rambling." she apologized and Abby gave a slow nod, wringing her hands. "We didn't tell you at first because we agreed that we would wait and see where it took us. And then Gibbs found out and he told us not to let it get in the way of work and… we were worried that you'd be mad at us, I guess. And then it went on for so long that just saying it seemed ridiculous, so we didn't."

Abby blinked and slowly sat down next to her friend again.

"How long _have_ you been going out?" she asked and Ziva gave a sheepish shrug.

"A while?" she tried and Abby narrowed her eyes at her. "Okay, okay. We started shortly after Tony's assignment for SecNav began." Ziva admitted, slightly bowing her head and wringing her hands as Abby gave a low whistle.

"Wow."

"I broke up with Ray, and Tim… he was there for me. He noticed something was off and… it just _happened_." Ziva muttered, slowly looking up to see Abby bite her lip.

"So, Gibbs knows?" she asked and Ziva nodded.

"Yes. So does Tony." she told her, watching anxiously as Abby sighed and blinked her eyes. "We didn't tell them, they just found out and there was no point in denying it." she tried to soften the blow. "I am really sorry, Abby."

"Yeah." the Forensic Scientist shook her head.

"You are mad at me." Ziva observed and Abby looked at her, her green eyes filled with sadness.

"Yeah, a bit. But more like, disappointed. I thought we were friends!"

"We are!" Ziva argued, blinking at the tears in her eyes. First Tony, then Abby, and on top of that everything that had happened with Ray and the recent tension between her and Tim…

"Ziva?" Abby asked, suddenly worried. "Oh no." she breathed when she saw the moisture in her friend's eyes. "I'm sorry, Ziva. I… I didn't mean to-"

Ziva drew a deep breath and straightened, shaking her head and getting up to get herself a Kleenex. She blew her nose and took a few calming breaths.

"I'm sorry." she muttered, clearing her throat. "You are right; we should have told you when Gibbs found out. We should have been open from the start. It was a lot, recently. Tony finding out, he didn't take it too well, and then Ray…"

"That's why Tony was so angry a few weeks ago, wasn't it? He had found out about you and Tim?" Abby asked and Ziva nodded.

"He came to my apartment after work, said he wanted to follow his father's advice to _sweep me off my feet_. Unfortunately, Tim was over, we had been having a pillow fight –completely dressed- and when I opened the door, Jethro came trotting over. Tony saw my disheveled state, recognized Jethro and put two and two together. He was pissed, to say the least." Ziva told her. She felt guilty for doing it, for unloading this on Abby, but it felt good to talk to someone about it that wasn't Tim and not directly involved.

"Ouch." Abby flinched.

"He came around, but I think Gibbs talked to him. Because he changed his opinion all of a sudden and… I don't know, I think he is still angry at us but not showing it." Ziva sighed, shaking her head. "Sorry. I didn't… We deserved Tony's reaction. And yours. I guess if you guys had told us that you're a couple, we'd have felt betrayed, too. It wasn't fair to keep it from you for so long."

Abby patted the couch next to her and Ziva walked back over, though a bit reluctantly.

"Well, you're both private people. Tony likes to flaunt his conquests, but in all the years you have been on the team, I have never heard you talk about a relationship when it wasn't obvious and you weren't telling us anything new anyway. And Tim's pretty private, too, so I guess it makes sense you didn't make a huge announcement out of this." she said, frowning. "You're happy with him, right? I mean, Tony's reaction didn't make you reconsider this relationship?"

Ziva quickly shook her head.

"No. No, it didn't. If anything, what happened with Tony and Ray was proof that we're a good couple, that we make a good team. He's been there for me, even if I pushed him away at times. I… I really love him, Abby."

The Forensic Scientist nodded and hugged her tightly. Ziva blinked in surprise, tensing before she slowly herself to relax and gave into the hug.

"Just promise me that you'll tell us you're engaged before we get the wedding invites?" she joked and Ziva gave a little laugh, nodded.

"Yes, if he ever proposed and we consider getting married, then I will definitely tell you before the wedding invites." she responded, sobering. "Are we good?" she couldn't help but ask and held her breath when Abby tilted her head lightly, as if considering the question.

"Yupp, we're good." she nodded, hugging Ziva again. "Unless you make the bridesmaid dresses hideous."


	20. 9x14 tag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that everything pertaining the case is supposed to happen within 24hrs, which seemed a little unrealistic. So I took some liberties there.

Coming into work, she's not that surprised to see Tony standing at Tim's desk. It's been some time since he played a prank of her boyfriend and she was actually waiting for one to happen soon.

"If you go snooping you will regret it." she warns him. Tony throws her a look over his shoulder.

"You know, there's no reason to go _snooping_. It's all in plain sight."

Ziva sets down her backpack and rolls her eyes, but still finding herself intrigued by his statement. "What are you talking about?"

"Come see for yourself." Tony motions. For a second, she feels torn, but then decided that she better get a handle on this before Tony actually does start snooping around and she has to hurt him. There is no way she will let him intrude on Tim's privacy, not when it has in part become her own, too.

"So what is the big-" she starts, but when she comes to stand next to him, she realizes that something definitely is different about her boyfriend's desk. Ziva furrows her brows and crosses her arms, tilting her head slightly.

"It's the monitors." Tony tells her and she gives him a glare. She would have gotten it, eventually.

"Thank you very much." she hisses at him, frowning at the desk.

"Something different between you two?" Tony asks her and Ziva can feel herself tense. No, actually, they have been back on track again, talking to each other, sharing their thoughts. It feels like before, before he told her about… IT, and before Ray came back and almost ruined everything.

"No. Why would you ask that?" she wonders, staring at her partner.

"Well, no man just changes his viewing angle without a reason." Tony shrugs and Ziva can feel her heart start to race. She had thought that they were making progress; that he didn't feel like she didn't deserve him anymore, that he had gotten over the initial "I can't have you suffering for my faults" reaction and the attempts to push her away. Now, though, she isn't that sure about it anymore.

There's no way that she's going to talk to Tony about this, though, given how much he loves to tease Tim about his supposed lack of masculinity. If Tony knew that Tim's infertile- she doesn't even want to begin to consider the possible torment the other agent would be able to cook up, given how much Tim seems to struggle with it already.

And when Tim walks into work, he actually looks… different. Like his mind is occupied by something he doesn't want her to know about. Or maybe she is just being paranoid. She has a tendency to over think things sometimes. Still, given his defensive reaction to Tony's prodding, Ziva is pretty sure that something is definitely up with her boyfriend. Something he isn't telling her. And suddenly, she isn't sure how many more secrets she'll be able to tolerate.

* * *

"I'd say I apologize, but it seems like I have been doing that a lot, lately." Ziva tells him when he opens the door to find her standing there, holding up a bag that smells like Chinese takeout. Tim steps aside to let her in, accepting the peace offer and going to find them plates as she takes off her jacket and shoes.

"But I will say that I _am_ sorry I did not stop Tony from snooping." she continues when they sit down to eat.

"Why didn't you?" Tim asks her around a mouth of noodles and Ziva sighs, dripping sauce over her chicken.

"I… am concerned." she admits, taking a bite of the meat and chewing thoughtfully. "It feels like you are hiding something from me and after the last thing you hid… I'm worried, about you and about us, too."

Tim sets down his plate and wipes his mouth on a napkin before turning to her.

"Director Vance offered me a position in Okinawa." he reveals and Ziva finds her throat constricting, almost making her choke on her food. She sets down her plate, too, and takes a sip of water to buy herself time and figure out a reaction.

"When?" she asks and Tim shrugs.

"Last week. I didn't tell you because I didn't know what to think about it, and I felt like I wanted to have sorted out my own thoughts on it at least a little before we'd start discussing it."

Ziva raises an eyebrow at him. "We'll discuss it?" she asks and he frowns at her.

"Of course. You're my girlfriend and Okinawa is thousands of miles away, this isn't just a transfer down to the basement."

Ziva quickly holds up her hand. "In Mossad, you don't get much of a say when it comes to transfers. And when your own opinion barely matters, including your partner in the process seems… unnecessary, in a way." she tells him and Tim gives a curt nod, acknowledging her statement. "Have you, then? Sorted out your own thoughts?" she asks, her heart racing. She isn't sure what she wants to hear him say. If he stays because of her, she'd feel bad, but him leaving isn't something she wants, either.

"Well, it's a great opportunity. The last guy they had heading the unit now works for Microsoft." Tim tells her, his eyes glazing over slightly and she can't help the small smile tugging on her lips, despite her confusion.

"An agent went to work for a computer firm?" she wonders and Tim shakes his head.

"No. Well, technically, yes, but the job he had was head of the cyber division. It would be a promotion, actually."

"Wow. Um, congratulations."

"I didn't take it yet." Tim shakes his head and Ziva has to stop herself from flinching at that little three-lettered word.

"Well, still, it is an offer. It means he trusts you to be able to do the job just as well as the guy before you. It's a compliment, Tim, and you deserve to be congratulated for that." she tells him instead and watches as he gives a small but proud smile.

"Yeah, I guess." he nods before sobering. "But I don't know if I want it." he sighs. Ziva bites her lip and draws up her courage.

"If it's because of me… We could make it work." she softly says and Tim's eyes widen. "Okay, I know that my track record with long distance relationships isn't stellar, one of them ending up dead and the other in prison for murder." she jokes lightly. "But even if Tony hadn't killed Michael, he and I would have broken up eventually. We weren't… Michael and I had a physical attraction to each other but barely an emotional attachment. You and I… I think we could make it work." she offers.

"Really?" Tim asks. "Because it would be a three year position, at least."

Ziva shrugs. "Well, then we will just have to plan our leave time carefully for three years." she says before leaning in to kiss him.

"Why are you so okay with this?" Tim asks, tangling his hands into her long hair. His girlfriend gives a soft sigh.

"I want you do be able to do what you want." she tells him, rubbing her nose against his. "And if you want this, really want it, then, as your girlfriend, I should support you in that choice and not make you feel bad about it." Hesitating, she adds, "Though that does not mean that I would not miss you a lot and that those 36 months could become awfully long."

Tim bites his lip before kissing her again, pulling her against him as he rests back on the couch.

"It's not just you. I mean, I worked cyber crimes when you were in Israel and Tony an Agent Afloat. And I liked it, but… I mean, it was only a few months then but I really missed being a real agent."

"You were a real NCIS agent." Ziva protest as she rests her hand on his chest, opening the two middle buttons on his shirt to slip her hand inside it, suddenly needing the skin-to-skin contact. She feels him press a soft kiss to her hair and sighs, relaxing against him.

"Yeah, but I meant being a case agent. Solving crimes… After you came back and Tony, too, I think if I had asked him to, Vance would've let me stay with Cyber Crimes. The point is, I didn't want it then. And I'm not sure if I want it now."

"Well, that is your choice to make. I will not break up with you if you decide to take the promotion or be disappointed if you don't, as long as it is what you want."

* * *

Her heart is racing when Tim looks at them, and she knows that this is it. He has decided what he is going to do, and she'll have to live with that-

"I'm not going to take the promotion in Okinawa." he announces and while the relief is instant, she can't help but feel a little like it's her fault that he is passing up a huge opportunity. When she voices that thought, though, Tim gives her a soft smile and proceeds to tell them that he believes he still has things to do here.

Hours later, in the darkness of her bedroom, she presses a soft kiss to his jaw.

"I just want you to know, I am very proud of you." she whispers, gently running her hand through his hair as his strokes her naked back.

"I actually asked Vance if he'd shorten the position to a year, see how it works. He said no. And honestly, I couldn't wrap my head around being away from the team, from you, for so long." he admits and Ziva shakes her head, kissing him deeply as she snuggles closer. "Tony told me to trust my gut and I'm doing that."

"And you are really sure?" she asks him and he turns onto his side, looking at her in the darkness. He starts tracing the side of her face with his index finger before tilting up her jaw to claim her lips again.

"Yeah, I'm sure." he nods as his hands snake under the covers to pull her to him and Ziva lets out a soft giggle before shaking her head at his antics. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off their shoulders, especially his, and she's rather glad to know he is staying in her life.


	21. 9x15 tag

It's nagging at her, constantly. At first she scolds herself for reacting like that, but soon finds that she can't help herself. Jealousy is a weakness of character that she is not particularly proud of. While it can be healthy in small doses, Ziva is well aware of the fact that the doses hers comes in are not healthy at all, for any relationship.

Then she tries to reason with herself. After everything they went through recently, he wouldn't cheat on her. Not Tim, it would be completely out of character for him. Yet she can't help that voice in her head that insists she drove him away and now he is looking after other women when she's standing right next to him of all things. In all the relationships she has ever been in, even in the briefest of flings, this is a new low, one she never cared to reach. At least when her former lovers stared at other women they didn't feel the need to comment on their marvelous looks, too. They did it in silence and they could both pretend like it didn't happen. And it wasn't as if she never stared after other people.

But coming to think of it, ever since she started dating Tim, they never occurred to her, the thoughts she used to have. The flashes of someone else above her, another man's hand slipping under her shirt, strange lips claiming hers in heated kisses… from the first date she had with Tim, she never had the briefest of thoughts of sleeping with someone else. Even if she looked at someone else's ass it was not done with the wish to touch it but out of mere admiration and curiosity how they managed to keep it in shape like that.

After mentioning _that word_ to Tony, she has to admit that she'd better confront Tim if they wanted to move past this. Might as well admit her weakness right then, to keep them from further embarrassing events.

She first has to decide when to broach the subject, and how to do it. "Do you want to have sex with Tony's ex?" doesn't sound like a good conversation starter, and while she isn't necessarily against open relationships, she is pretty sure that she wouldn't be able to tolerate the thought of Tim's hands on another woman's body. For her, that sort of sharing is only possible when she merely has a physical relationship with someone, something that is centered around having sex and getting physical pleasure and release and giving it. But when she opens herself up emotionally, when she allows herself to become vulnerable and trust the person she is with, she finds that she does not want anyone else getting anywhere close to that connection, not even on the physical side of it.

So, how does she bring up him calling Wendy _cute_? It turns out that she needn't have worried about that, because it's Tim who mentions _that woman_ again.

"Wendy seemed nice." he casually mentions while they're out in the park to give Jethro his walk and she clenches her fist in the pocket of her jacket as she pulls her arm from his and takes a step to the side, separating their bodies as she suddenly finds herself unable to be so close to him. Tim gives her a somewhat puzzled look but is distracted by calling Jethro back from another dog.

"You have a real _fascination_ with her." Ziva hears herself say and if they weren't in public she'd probably hit herself upside the head for that tone. When did she turn into the green eyed monster? Oh, right, the instant Tim used the words "Wendy" and "cute" in one sentence.

"Yeah, well, I didn't think she'd be Tony's type." Tim shrugs. "I mean, we know what he usually goes for, and she seems… different."

"Really?" she bites, her eyes widening when he fails to recognize the sarcasm in her tone.

"Well, she's far from 'mindless blond bimbo', don't you think?"

"I do not spend time pondering the former relationships of my colleagues." Ziva snaps at him, picking up the dog's ball and throwing it so Jethro can go chase it again. In her anger, she almost hits another couple out with their dog and then even Tim can't ignore the tension radiating off of her in waves any longer.

"Okay, what's wrong?" he asks her and Ziva whirls around, glaring at him. She opens her mouth to snap at him but then the words are gone and so is the anger and she just feels incredibly _sad_ all of a sudden. So she shakes her head and takes a deep breath.

"Nothing." she tells him, petting Jethro when he returns to them to have an excuse not to look at her boyfriend.

"Ziva, come on. Something's wrong, you can-"

"I'd prefer not to have this conversation somewhere other people can hear, if you don't mind." she snaps at him, finding her patience running out quickly. If she has to get humiliated like that, she'd rather not have strangers witness it. She does have some pride left, after all. Tim sets his jaw and hooks the leash through Jethro's collar, tugging the dog along as he sets out to return to the car. Ziva stares after him before thrusting her hands into her pockets and stalking in the other direction, tears burning in her eyes. She can't be in a car with him right now, so she opts for walking back to his apartment. Which takes her almost an hour, giving her enough time to cool off and get somewhat of a grip.

* * *

"I was worried." Tim greets her when she lets herself in with the spare key. He's holding his phone and just then she can feel hers beginning to vibrate in her pocket but it stops when he hangs up. "Wanna tell me what's going on, or do I have to guess?" he asks when she doesn't take off her jacket, ready to leave at the answer of the question burning in her mind.

"Do you want to have sex with her?" she asks, feeling her heart starting to beat faster in her chest. Tim blinks at her.

"Have sex with _whom_?" Tim frowns, staring at her when she doesn't answer as she's too busy biting her lip to keep the tears from falling. "Wendy? You think I want to- Oh my God, Ziva, how-"

"You said she's cute!" she blurts and after a brief pause Tim starts laughing and she wants to smack him hard for that. It's bad enough that he stared at Wendy, that he commented on her looks in front of her, said he found another woman attractive while she, his _girlfriend_ was right next to him, but now he's making fun of her, too, and that's just-

"I was trying to goat Tony." Tim tells her, sobering and taking a step towards her. Ziva blinks, furrowing her brows slightly. "Ziva, I said she's _cute._ Not attractive."

"You said I'm cute." she meekly offers as a protest when his hand comes to rest on her cheek and he shakes his head.

"Yeah, when you play with Jethro, or try to figure out what to do with your scrabble tiles. In a way, you are cute. But you're also beautiful, stunning, amazing, gorgeous… and I don't think that of Wendy. Or any other woman." he tells her. When she raises a skeptical eyebrow, he rolls his eyes.

"Okay, you got me, I do think that Sandra Bullock is gorgeous and so is Kate Beckinsale. But I don't want them any more than I want Wendy or any other woman that's not you." Tim tells her, kissing her gently. "I love you and I want to have sex with you, and only you."

Ziva gives a soft sigh, shaking her head in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I… I'd say I didn't know what got into me, but that would be a lie. I should have trusted you, I mean, there is nothing wrong with looking and-"

Tim's finger on her lips silences her and he gives her a soft smile. "I didn't think when I made that remark. It's okay to be jealous, Ziva."

"Because jealousy is such a great thing. Wonder why it got Michael killed then." she mutters, her eyes widening in shock at her own statement. Tim frowns and gently pulls her to the couch, pushing her to sit down.

"You are not Tony, Ziva." he tells her, gently squeezing her hands. "In certain amounts, jealousy can be a good thing. Like, I'd be worried if I kissed another woman and you wouldn't be jealous or react to it at all. And wondering about your boyfriend finding other women attractive is not bad, not in the way you have been doing it. It was one time and you didn't obsess over it."

Ziva looks down at their hands, returning his pressure.

"I… need to say something." she realizes and looks up at him, waiting for him to nod. "I know we never talked about it and I honestly didn't think you'd ever agree to it, anyway, much less suggest it, but… I would not be able to stand an open relationship with us two dating other people on the side or something. And if you want that-"

"I don't." Tim shakes his head quickly. "It never crossed my mind, ever. And honestly, I wouldn't want it, either. The thought of someone else getting to touch you…" he cuts himself off, again shaking his head vehemently. "No."

"So, we stay like this? Just the two of us?" Ziva asks and Tim nods.

"Yeah. Just the two of us. And I'll watch my tongue from now on." he winks at her. Ziva narrows her eyes at him before sighing.

"No, don't, don't do that. I think I would want to know if you find someone else attractive, in _that_ way. Just… don't do it in front of others?"

Tim nods, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her forehead. "You know you can tell me, too."

"You already know about my crush on George Clooney." Ziva shrugs in an attempt at humor. Tim gives a short laugh and pulls her close. Ziva wraps her arms around him, inhaling his scent and allowing herself to relax into him.

"Hey, when you said that you had dated men with thinning hair and that gray hair can be very sexy…" Tim starts and leans back so he can look into her face, "do you have a thing for Fornell?"

Ziva swats at his chest but can't help the laugh bubbling up inside of her. "Of course. I could never say no to Tobias." she teases, shaking her head before pulling him in for a kiss.


	22. 9x16 tag

"I suggest we begin alphabetically." Ziva shrugged and pulled the ladder with her. He drew a deep breath and sighed, following her and resigning himself to a whole night spent in a file storage unit when their time spent doing this could easily be reduced to minutes by just clicking a few keys.

"I hate this." Tim muttered, scanning the names on the boxes, trying to decipher smudged print and sloppy handwriting.

"Ah, it could be worse." Ziva shrugged again, tapping against one of the boxes as she slowly made her way down the aisle on the other side.

"Yeah, how?" Tim asked her, not believing her statement for a second. What could be worse than spending hour doing a task that could easily be accomplished in the blink of an eye, if only he were allowed to use his computer?

"We could be stuck doing this with Tony?" Ziva suggested and he gave a groan.

"Please don't jinx it." he begged her, making her halt in her steps and turning to look at him.

"Okay, what's going on?" she asked him, slightly tilting her head to the side. "You're strangely upset about this. I mean, I get that you'd like to do it at a computer, never mind how much faster that would be, but… we're together and it could be a lot worse than just searching for a few files."

With a sigh, Tim turned to her. "This is gonna take the entire night, Ziva. Gibbs won't accept us not finding any results, and-" he bit his tongue suddenly.

"And?" Ziva pressed on, taking a step towards him as her eyes narrowed slightly. Well, it wasn't like they'd be able to make it, anyway, and he doubted his friend would be able to do him the same favor twice in such a short amount of time…

"And I had a table waiting for us tonight." Tim admitted, taking in how her eyes widened in surprise. "I was planning to surprise you with a nice dinner and a foreign movie and some nice, quiet and romantic alone time." He noticed how her breath hitched in her throat before she crossed the distance between them and pulled him down for a kiss that left him breathless and sent his head spinning.

"You're right, this sucks." she whispered against his lips.

"Uh-huh." Tim agreed as he rested his hands on her hips, pulling her close and kissing her again.

"How about we make this a little more interesting, then?" Ziva suggested, running her hands through his hair, her body pressed against his.

"What do you have in mind?" he asked, suddenly a little weary of her definition of _interesting_.

"I'd suggest strip searching, but given that someone could walk in on us, this does not seem like such a great idea." Ziva chuckled when she saw his expression before catching his lips again. "No, I was thinking, for every file one of us finds, we get like, two minutes of a break, for us. To make up for your ruined surprise."

Tim sighed against her lips and rested his forehead against hers briefly before leaning back.

"Sounds like a plan." he nodded, letting her go and returning to their quest for the elusive files.

* * *

Ziva let out a decidedly girly giggle as Tim pressed her against the elevator wall with a grin, grabbing her wrists and pinning them above her head as the doors closed and the cart started moving. She let him kiss her before gently pressing her knee against his thigh, making him loosen his grip instantly.

"What?" her boyfriend asked her, searching her eyes with worry.

"Not so tight." Ziva breathed, swallowing thickly.

"Sorry." Tim apologized, brushing his thumb over her the inside of her wrist before he let go.

"It's okay. Really, you're welcome to do that in bed, but not in small, enclosed spaces." she assured him, rubbing her nose against his when the tips of his ears turned red.

"Missed you." Tim murmured against her lips before kissing her again.

"We spent the night going through hundreds of files together, how could you have missed me?" Ziva asked, raising an eyebrow when the doors to the elevator opened to let them out but Tim stood his ground, his hands on her hips holding her in place. Granted, she could have easily removed them and gotten out of the cart, but she found that she rather liked this. He never did things like this, and while it was a far cry from actually having sex in a public place it still made her pulse speed up slightly. She knew he'd never start undressing her or go further than a few more heated, desperate kisses, but a girl could dream, right?

"Yeah but I didn't want to press you against the shelves, lest they collapse on us." he smirked against the skin of her throat when Ziva threw her head back and let out a laugh before tangling the hand that wasn't holding her keys in his hair and resting the other on his shoulder.

"My, you are full of surprises, Special Agent McGee." she grinned and hooked one leg around his hips, raising an eyebrow in challenge. He leaned back slightly, a surprised expression on his face before he gave her a grin and leaned in for another kiss, one of his hands slipping under her shirt. Ziva arched her back into the touch and responded to the kiss with urgency. She wanted to see how far he'd actually go and slipped her hands to his front to brush his jacket off. Just as they were kissing again and she felt his hands slowly starts traveling from her back to her front, the doors to the elevator opened again. She dimly wondered why they would do that but the sound of a throat being cleared cut through the fog the sensations of Tim touching her created. They both froze and Ziva's eyes snapped open, finding Tim's and seeing his ears already burn crimson. She slowly removed her leg and straightened and McGee turned to look over his shoulder to see who had caught him.

"Hello, Mrs. Anderson." Ziva smiled at her elderly neighbor and snatched up her backpack from the floor, Tim following suit. They left the elevator, Tim giving the woman a sheepish smile and Ziva quickly opened the door to her apartment, feeling the eyes of the elderly lady burn into her back. When she closed the door, Tim threw down his backpack and gave a loud groan.

"I can never look at her again." he shook his head as Jethro came trotting over to greet him and giving his girlfriend a glare when Ziva had the nerve to chuckle.

"Relax, Tim. It's not like she actually _saw_ anything." she shrugged, setting her backpack down and giving Jethro a pat when the dog came trotting over to her. "Besides, I don't think her hearing aids kept her from getting an earful last week."

"Did you _have_ to remind me?" Tim muttered, hiding his face in his hands. They had gotten carried away and forgotten that the walls at Ziva's apartment building were much thinner that over at his place, a fact they were only reminded of when they were trying to catch their breaths afterwards and became aware of the blasting volume of the TV next door.

Ziva shook her head and went over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing a kiss to his chin.

"What I meant was that, if she had a problem with it, she would have long said something." she muttered, leaning back and rolling her eyes at his still deadly embarrassed expression. "Seriously?"

"I can't help it, it's just… she could be my grandmother!"

Ziva gave a soft snort at that. "After what I have seen of your grandmother, she'd be more like to cheer you on if she caught us in the elevator than tell you off for making out with your girlfriend in public."

She slowly let her hands trail lower from his shoulders over his chest until she reached his belt.

"What are you doing?" Tim asked, a strained edge creeping into his tone as Ziva swiftly undid the buckle and opened the button and zipper.

"Well, we just saw Mrs. Anderson leave, and since you are obviously worried that she could hear us again tonight, I thought we could make use of the opportunity that has presented itself, yes?" Ziva cocked an eyebrow at him, tugging at his pants so they slid down his legs and pooled at his ankles. Tim gave another groan.

"You're going to be the death of me, aren't you?" he muttered before pulling her into a new kiss and getting to work on her belt in turn.


	23. filler up to 9x17

"I need to borrow a book." Ziva stated as she pushed past him into his apartment and went straight to his bookshelf.

"Come in, nice to see you, sure you can have a kiss." Tim said to the empty air before he closed the door, raising his eyebrow when Ziva didn't seem to hear him speak. "You know you could have called, I could have given it to you at work."

She finally found what she was looking for and pulled it out, drawing a deep breath.

"I am not sure I want Tony to see me with this." she admitted and held up the book so he could see the title. Tim furrowed his brows.

" _Public Speaking 101_?" he read, raising his eyebrows when she flopped down on his couch. "I sense a story there."

Ziva sighed, running her nail along the spine of the book.

"A few weeks ago Vance asked me about speaking at career day at one of the local schools. I agreed. Then, a few days later, he informed that, instead of talking to every class in turn, the school had decided to hold the whole thing in the auditorium so it wouldn't take the whole day." she told him, sighing. "I am… bad… at public speaking."

Tim slowly shook his head. "I've heard you speak publicly, you're fine, Ziva." he tried to reassure her but his girlfriend quickly shook her head.

"What you heard was me giving translations to a small group of people in MTAC, or showing self defense to new agents. It is far easier to speak to a small group when you have terms and technicalities you can… use as a crutch, I suppose. But whenever it's more than, twenty people, and I have to use my own words, I…" she stopped, drawing a deep breath. "I freeze. My brain goes blank and I imagine horrible ways I could embarrass myself. I start toying around with things. You know one of the first things they tell you about public speaking is how you are to not hold a pen that makes sounds under any circumstances, nor one you can take apart? I spent my first intelligence presentation at Mossad clicking a pen for ten minutes before my father gave me such a glare I dropped it. Another time I was facing an enquiry, at the end of which I had to wash my hands multiple times because I had dismantled the pen and gotten ink all over them halfway through the interview." Ziva shook her head.

"At least you didn't wet yourself." Tim shrugged. Ziva gave him a wide-eyed look of horror and he realized that he had just given her another horror scenario to add to her list. "Second grade. It was something on different butterflies. I told the teacher I had to go and she thought I was just trying to come up with a way to get out of the presentation. I got to the fifth sentence before I couldn't hold it in any more."

Ziva made a sympathetic face but he could still detect the corners of her mouth turning up slightly.

"I'm sorry, that must have been horrible."

"Yeah, it wasn't a good year." Tim nodded, gently taking the book from her. "Tell you what, you write down your speech and we go over it, together, until you know it by heart. You can deliver it to me as often as you like. We work on your body language and speech until you're comfortable. And I promise I won't make fun of you. Or give you a pen to toy around with." he offered, watching her. Ziva bit her lip and contemplated the offer.

"You would do that? Listen to the same lame speech over and over again?" she asked him and he shrugged.

"Sure. But if you write it, I'm pretty certain it won't be lame at all."

His girlfriend sighed, running her hands through her hair.

"I just, this is… important to me." she breathed. "NCIS has done so much for me, and I… I want to share that."

"Then we'll make sure of that." Tim gave her a soft smile. Ziva looked at him, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly before she leaned in and gave him a soft kiss.

"I love you." she muttered as she kicked her shoes off and pulled her feet up on the couch, snuggling close. Tim wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against him. He threw the book down onto the coffee table before leaning back against the couch, relaxing.

"I love you, too." he responded, pressing a soft kiss to her hair and running his hand up and down her arm as Ziva wrapped her arm around his middle and shifted slightly to find a comfortable position before a content sigh left her and she melted against him.


	24. 9x17 tag

Ziva put down her purse and leaned over the back of the couch to press a soft kiss to his cheek and getting a glimpse of the folder in his lap.

"You doing proof reading?" she asked, running her hands over his shoulders. Tim gave a soft sigh and leaned back.

"Yeah. Next time I get the bright idea to get up in the middle of the night to write please chain me to the bed." he muttered, giving a soft moan when Ziva started massaging his shoulders and got to work on a particularly stubborn spot.

"I did not know you were into handcuffs." she teased him and Tim gave her a look. She slipped her hands into his shirt and leaned forward, capturing his lips again.

"How was your evening? Did you have fun with Abby?" he asked her and Ziva climbed over the back of the couch, ignoring his look and pulling out her hair band.

"Yes. We met Dorneget outside the theater and decided to watch the movie with him and his… friend." she caught herself, shaking out her curls. "Afterwards we went to a bar. It was really nice."

"Good." Tim nodded and Ziva narrowed her eyes.

"You don't have a problem with me going to the movies with a man you barely know and were suspicious of wanting something from Abby, along with his male friend you never met?" she asked him and Tim shrugged.

"Yeah, well, I spent the day with Dorneget. He seems nice, and I don't think he'd be interested in you." he said, his eyes widening when he realized what he had said. "Knowing that you already are in a relationship, I mean. He doesn't strike me as the type who goes for girls… who are taken."

Ziva searched his face before breaking into a big smile.

"Yeah, he doesn't strike me as the type who goes for girls _at all_." she said, amusement twinkling in her eyes. Tim raised an eyebrow.

"He told you?" he asked and Ziva started nodding before pausing.

"Well, he didn't _say_ it, actually. But he was holding Rick's hand when we met them. Also, I think the five or so kisses were a give-away." she told him, snuggling close when he threw the folder on the coffee table. "He tell you?"

"Yeah. I was really angry about him letting the model escape and accused him of being distracted because he found her so attractive." Tim sighed, running his hand through her hair. "He has a boyfriend?"

"Apparently. They are actually pretty cute together. I think he was nervous how I was going to react, but once he realized I wasn't going to treat him differently, he relaxed a lot."

Ziva gave a soft sigh when he massaged her scalp and shifted against him.

"You know, I am happy that DADT got repealed." Tim muttered, kissing her forehead.

"Yes. After seeing them together… It is horrible, thinking that they'd have to hide their happiness and feelings for each other." his girlfriend agreed before furrowing her brows. "You know what I just realized?" she asked and Tim shook his head. "Abby wasn't surprised at all, so he probably told her before today. And now you and I also know and I am pretty sure Gibbs is also aware of it."

"What are you getting at?" Tim asked her, scrunching up his face slightly.

"The only one who doesn't seem to have a clue is Tony." Ziva enlightened him before she started laughing. "And it just hit me that of all people, he asked a gay man just how smoking hot Baransky was."


	25. 9x18 tag

Ziva frowned down at the book in her lap. She had been reading the same sentence for the third time now and it was all Tim's fault. She could feel him _staring_ at her, watching her and he had been doing it for a few minutes now. She was getting unnerved. He hadn't said anything but there was something very disturbing about that silence, and she was coming up with a dozen bad scenarios that would have him watch her intensely like that.

"Doing some character studying again, McGee?" she asked him, aware of her use of his surname, even though they were at home and alone. Tim noticed, too, she saw him flinch out of the corner of her eye when she turned the page. Ziva quickly hid a smirk before looking at him.

"Um, no?" he tried and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Then why have you been watching me for the better part of half an hour now?" she asked him, closing her book and angling her body so she was facing him on the couch. Jethro raised his head and slowly stood, trotting over to her and nudging her knee with his snout. Ziva reached down to run her hand through the dog's fur, appreciating that Tim had taught him that humans reading meant that he wouldn't get played with or patted, even if he came begging. Though Ziva doubted that Jethro was just after getting some affection. He seemed to be good at sensing tension in her or between her and Tim and would follow her everywhere in those moments. She supposed it was a side-effect of having lived with Tim for years now, that the dog had started to pick up on his mood and realized that when he decided to get goofy or cuddly, he could cheer his master up, and now decided that the same was true for Ziva.

"I like watching you." Tim shrugged and Ziva gave him a look. "What?"

"Now you're starting to sound creepy." she shook her head, pointing at Tim and snapping her fingers, hoping it would send the dog his way. Jethro just sat back and looked at her before giving a short bark and placing his head firmly in her lap. Ziva gave a soft groan and admitted defeat, starting to scratch the dog in earnest. She'd have preferred to watch Tim when he answered but someone apparently decided that this wasn't happening.

"Sorry." Tim apologized, walking over to her and sitting down next to her, again watching her. Ziva turned her head and he blinked, sighing. "I was thinking about what Ryan said." he told her, frowning down at the dog when Jethro began to drool over her jeans.

"About what?" Ziva asked her boyfriend, turning her attention from the dog.

"Tells, in general." he shrugged. "When we were in the bullpen, I noticed that she was playing with her necklace and it struck me as an odd thing, for someone working in PsyOps to have such an obvious tell. And then I got thinking about what mine are, and when I realized that you probably knew all of them I suddenly found that I had no idea what yours were."

Ziva blinked in surprise, feeling Jethro leave her in favor of going to the kitchen where his food and water were.

"Who says I have tells?" she tried, but Tim merely continued to watch her and Ziva sighed, shaking her head. "Okay, stupid question." she breathed, running her hand through her hair. "Well, I can assure you know a few very obvious tells of mine."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Like, my English gets worse when I am agitated." Ziva supplied and Tim tried to bite back a grin. She rolled her eyes at him, frowning. "The others I try to suppress."

"Why?" he asked her, tilting his head. Ziva gave a soft sigh.

"Force of habit." she shrugged. "But there are a few universal ones, not making eye contact, touching jewelry…"

"You toy with your earrings." Tim suddenly supplied. "Though I have no idea why."

Ziva shrugged. "See, you know one."

"One. How many do I have that you know of?" Tim asked, suddenly sounding defeated. Ziva considered deflecting before deciding to aim low instead.

"A couple." she shrugged. At Tim's incredulous look, she gave him another shrug. "You blush like a teenager sometimes. Your voice goes up when you're embarrassed. When something annoys you, you raise one of your eyebrows. Those are universal tells pretty much everyone has."

"How come I rarely see them with you?"

Ziva closed her eyes to keep herself from making a sharp remark.

"Mossad officers who cannot suppress obvious reactions to things rarely last long." she reminded him with a raised eyebrow. Tim swallowed visibly and reached for her hand.

"I'm sorry, I didn't..." he muttered, shaking his head. "I'm really sorry, Ziva."

She gave a soft sigh and shook her head, entwining their fingers.

"I am not angry, it's just… not something I like to talk about. And for the record, the only time I actively try to suppress them is when we are on the job, especially when talking to witnesses and possible suspects." she told him, staring at their hands.

"Ziva?" Tim called her name softly and she looked at him, giving him a gentle smile. He opened his mouth to say something but then shook his head.

"Does Gibbs have a tell?" he asked her instead and Ziva frowned.

"You mean, besides yelling at people or glaring at them?" she asked, making him chuckle.

"Yeah, stupid question." he grinned, leaning in to kiss her.


	26. 9x19 tag

When he returned from the kitchen, he found Ziva still on the couch, staring blankly at the TV. She had been like this since they got off work. Cold, distant, distracted and somewhere else with her thoughts the whole time. It was really starting to worry him, her reaction to what had happened with Vance's brother-in-law, but he had no idea how to cheer her up or distract her from whatever was going on in her head. He was close to just grabbing her shoulders and shaking her to make her tell him what was going on.

"Hey, you wanna go to bed?" he asked her instead when he walked over. "It's getting late."

Ziva blinked slowly and turned her head to look at him before she glanced at the clock. "I'm not tired." she muttered, grabbing the remote and switching channels a few times. Tim gave a soft sigh and leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

"If you wanna talk, you know where I am." he told her, stroking her cheek before disappearing into the bedroom. Ziva watched him go, worrying her lip. It wasn't that she wanted to be alone; actually, she wanted to be distracted from her thoughts more than anything. Only that nothing seemed to do the trick. She had started kissing him earlier, but when Tim's hands had slipped under her shirt, she had been assaulted by flashbacks of her brother pulling it off to check her ribs after a training mishap, and that had killed the mood for her rather effectively.

Ziva pulled her legs up on the couch and dragged the blanket off the back before she started channel surfing again, trying not to think about her older brother and what he had done. And what she had done to him.

The case with Vance's brother-in-law had stirred up some memories for her. How he had been willing to believe in Michael's innocence had been a painful reminder of her own experiences with Ari. Granted, Michael had come out of this still alive, while Ari was now dead. Vance had brought Michael behind bars and she had been responsible that her own brother was now six feet under.

Jethro's soft whine yanked her from her thoughts. The dog was sitting in front of her, head tilted to the side and looking at her expectantly. Ziva sighed and tried to shoo him away, but the German Shepherd remained sitting in his spot. With another sigh, she slid down the couch and Jethro promptly walked over to lie down next to her, his head in her lap. She went back to ignoring him, which worked for five more minutes, when the dog started giving a constant, low whine. Ziva frowned down at him, attempting to ignore the annoying sound before she gave in and ran her hand through the dog's fur, making Jethro stop his whining instantly. Thinking he was done now, she stopped her ministrations shortly after. Jethro raised his head and nudged her with another whine.

"Go to Tim." Ziva snapped at the pet, growing annoyed by the incessant begging for affection. "Go." she gave the dog a shove when he whined into her face again, trying to show him the direction of the bedroom. "Dammit, I am not your petting toy!" she shouted at the dog when he failed to catch the drift.

"He's trying to cheer you up."

Ziva jumped at the sound of Tim's voice. Jethro turned his head briefly before nudging Ziva again with a soft whine. Her boyfriend walked over and gave a soft sigh, pulling Jethro up and ruffling his fur.

"Not your fault, buddy." she heard him mutter before Time went and locked the dog in the bedroom. Ziva watched him when he returned.

"I am sorry I woke you with my shouting-"

"I wasn't asleep." Tim shook his head, watching her. "I'm worried." he admitted, sitting down next to her and shutting off the volume of the TV. "Jethro picks up on your mood. He knows you're sad and just wants to cheer you up."

Ziva bit her lip and looked away, suddenly ashamed of her reaction.

"And I get that you don't want to talk, but…" Tim trailed off, sighing. "Maybe a little contact wouldn't be that bad?" he offered and Ziva almost went to curl up against him before another flash of guilt hit her and she stood up instead, wrapping her arms around her middle. Tim watched her, frowning before giving a resigned sigh. "Okay. Anything else I can do?" he asked her. "Maybe we should try sex again."

Ziva's eyes widened as they found his.

"I'm not stupid, Ziva. Since you didn't recoil I figured it wasn't Somalia-related and let it slide, but I know damn well what you had in mind when you started kissing me earlier."

She sighed and ran her hand through her hair, searching for the right words.

"When your sister was suspected of having killed someone…" she began, biting her lip briefly. "You defended her. With everything you had. You even went as far as handing in your badge, because you did not believe she had done those things."

"I know Sarah, she would never hurt anybody." Tim nodded. Ziva gave another soft sigh and sat down in the armchair slowly.

"Vance did the same. He tried to protect his brother-in-law, because he believed him to be innocent. He thought that Michael could not murder someone." she went on, drawing a shaky breath. "Unfortunately, I am more familiar with what Vance is feeling right now than what you were when it was over."

Tim swallowed thickly, scooting down the couch to be closer to her.

"I'm sorry, Ziva. I didn't realize…" he trailed off. Ziva shook her head and rubbed her hands together, watching them.

"When I became Ari's control officer and defended him from you guys, it was… I did it because I believed Ari to be innocent. He was my brother, I had known him for so long… he had a gruesome streak, he was somewhat of a sadist, but I never… I never thought that he would betray our country. That he would betray _me_ and go over to the people who had killed my mother, who had killed _our sister_." she muttered, reaching up to wipe a tear from her eye. "I closed my eyes to the truth; I refused to accept the facts. I chose to believe what my brother was saying, that he was innocent, that someone was setting him up; instead of looking at the evidence, at the facts I allowed him to fool me by using what connection we had. People lie, that's a lesson I learned very fast; yet for some reason I never considered that Ari could be lying to me. I knew he had, in the past, but he had never done so with important things."

"He was your brother." Tim supplied softly. "You loved him; you didn't want to lose him."

Ziva nodded slowly. "That night, when Gibbs told me his plan and I went to relay it to Ari… I considered telling him everything. That it was a trap, that my orders were to kill him, that our father knew what he had done and wanted him dead, that I wouldn't survive it if I lost him, _everything_. Instead, I asked him if he had killed Agent Todd. And he looked me in the eyes and said he hadn't. He said he loved me and kissed my forehead, but when he leaned back, I knew. I just knew it. For a mad second or two, I was going to tell him to grab his stuff, that we were leaving. I wanted to run away with him, to Paris, like he had promised me."

"You didn't." Tim whispered and Ziva shook her head, drawing a shuddering breath.

"No, I didn't. Instead, I relayed to him what Gibbs had wanted me to say, telling him I'd see him the next day. I went to the cemetery and waited, but he didn't show up. I merely followed Gibbs home as a precaution. And Ari was there, waiting, and what he said… There never was a way back for him, not after he went over. But that night, he didn't just reveal what a monster he was, that the Ari I loved had never existed. He also told me what a monster my own father was. Yet I again didn't listen. I had seen it happen with Ari, and I got more cautious, but in the end? I still followed Eli's orders; I let him send me to my own death. And I wasn't even surprised by it." she shook her head, biting her lip. "Ari was my _brother_. And Eli, he sent me to kill him, his _son_. What kind of father does that?" she asked Tim, tears swimming in her eyes. Her boyfriend swallowed thickly.

"A lousy one?" he tried, making her give a sad laugh. "One that doesn't know what he is asking of his daughter. Someone who doesn't know how to love." he muttered, holding out his arms to her. Ziva stood and went over to him, cuddling close and hiding her face in his shoulder, trying not to cry or think of her brother and how desperately she had wanted her father to be wrong about him as Tim ran his hands up and down her back in a soothing caress.


	27. 9x20 tag

Ziva handed a bottle of water to her friend and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Where is Agent DiNozzo?" Monique asked, after taking a sip from the bottle. Ziva opened hers and shrugged before drinking.

"I think he's on the balcony, talking to the Chaplain." she told her friend, closing the bottle and lying down, covering her eyes with her arm. "I forgot how hot it gets down here." she muttered, groaning slightly.

"Well, it pales in comparison to Cairo." Lisson chuckled, tearing another groan from her friend.

"Don't remind me." Ziva moaned before turning onto her side to watch her friend as she sat cross legged on the bed. Monique returned her stare before reaching out and brushing a strand of hair from where it had stuck to Ziva's face.

"You know what?" she asked, cupping the Israeli's cheek gently before letting go. Ziva frowned at the uncharacteristic gesture, shaking her head.

"What?" she inquired, taking another sip of her water.

"When I last saw you, you were tense, insecure… Now you seem very much like the opposite of the woman I saw half a year ago." Lisson observed, inclining her head. Ziva gave her a soft smile and shrugged, peeling at the label on her water bottle.

"I was, tense and confused, actually. I was not joking when I asked you for advice."

"Well, I did not think you were." Monique shook her head, allowing a soft smile. "This Special Agent McGee… Was he the one I reached first, before I saw Gibbs?"

Ziva slowly nodded, biting her lip. It wasn't that she'd end her relationship with Tim, but she was still nervous about what Monique would say about him, what first impression she had gotten. Lisson took a swig from her water.

"He seemed nice." she allowed and Ziva let go of the breath she had been holding.

"He is." she nodded, scooting up on the bed to lie down properly on her side, Monique mirroring her actions. "I would like for you two to meet." Ziva slowly said, searching her friend's face. Lisson raised her eyebrows in surprise. Ziva had never suggested that she and Ray should meet, even though they had been together for a lot longer than her and Tim were a couple. But then again, Monique hadn't been too impressed when Ziva had told her what her former boyfriend was doing for a living. This Tim person, though… Ziva seemed almost like a different person now. The last time she had seen her friend, she had seemed sad and conflicted and unhappy, but now… it was hard to miss the sparkle in Ziva's eyes or the smile when she had checked her cell phone earlier and found a few messages from Tim.

"Maybe." Monique allowed with a slow nod. Ziva gave a sigh but inclined her head in acceptance.

"He has never been to the South of France, we could come visit you some day." she shrugged, trying not to sound too eager. And failing miserably.

"We will see." Lisson grinned, resting her head on the pillow. "But until we do, tell me more about him. You have been keeping a lot to yourself."

Ziva bit her lip in hesitation. "That is because… well, to be honest, he is not my usual type."

"Middle Eastern, dark, roguishly handsome?" Monique joked and Ziva rolled her eyes.

"His eyes are green and from his surname, you can guess that his roots aren't Middle Eastern, but Irish." she informed Monique. "

"Enough with that." Monique made a throwaway gesture with her hand. "Tell me the important stuff."

"Like what?" Ziva arched her brow.

"Like, can he cook? What does he do in his free time? Is he any good in bed?"

Ziva threw her head back and gave a soft laugh, shaking her head at her friend's antics. "Well, he manages not to burn water." she chuckled, thinking of the first time she and Tim had cooked together, or rather, attempted to. "He is not the best chef there is, but he is improving."

"He has a good teacher." Lisson winked at her, making Ziva blush lightly.

"Um, he is… well, he doesn't work out, not a lot. Though he does go on runs with me. He's more… he likes to read, and play video games." Ziva admitted and Monique narrowed her eyes slightly.

"What kind of games?" she asked suspiciously and Ziva sighed.

"World of Warcraft?" she tried, surprised when her friend gave a sigh of relief.

"I was fearing you'd say something like Solitaire."

"I play Solitaire!" Ziva hissed in indignation.

"Precisely." Monique teased her and Ziva gave her arm a light punch. Lisson hit her back, raising her finger in warning. "Wait, when you say he likes books, is this the guy who published a book featuring characters easily recognized as the team?"

Ziva groaned and hid her face briefly, nodding. Monique let out a bark of laughter, shaking her head in amusement.

"Well, you will have your hands full with that one." she teased and Ziva glared at her.

"He has moved on to other projects for his writing." she informed her friend, narrowing her eyes slightly.

"You have not answered my other questions." Monique reminded her and Ziva frowned lightly, trying to remember. Oh. "Well?" Lisson prompted.

"Well what?" Ziva decided to play dumb, causing her friend to roll her eyes.

"Does he please you?" Monique asked bluntly and despite the feeling of her ears getting hot, Ziva didn't blink and met the other woman's stare.

"Greatly." she answered, smirking. "You know, Tony always used to tease him, that he was probably a bad lover or gay, because Tim never seemed to get a girl? If he knew what McGee can do in bed, he'd be impressed. And could probably learn a thing or two. There's this thing Tim does with his tongue-"

A fake gagging sound interrupted her and Ziva and Monique turned their heads to see Tony standing in the doorway.

"Didn't need to hear that." the man shuddered, his face a picture of disgust. Ziva rolled her eyes at Monique, trying hard not to start laughing.

"Maybe you should not disturb private conversations, then." Monique suggested. Tony snorted.

"There are no doors in this room, except for the one to the bathroom." he reminded her.

"What do you want, Tony?" Ziva asked him and watched as he pointed at the clock on the wall.

"It's late, we could all do with a good night's sleep."

"Well, I guess we can have you use the bathroom first." Lisson allowed.

"Funny." Tony rolled his eyes. "I thought we'd figure out the sleeping arrangements first."

Ziva sat up slowly. "Monique and I can share the bed, the Chaplain will take the couch. Sleeping arrangements made." she informed him.

"Where am I supposed to sleep?"

"Well, sharing with the Chaplain seems hardly appropriate. And seeing as Ziva has a boyfriend…" Monique trailed off. "If you want to, you can share the couch with me." she added, giving Tony a smirk and then let her eyes travel over his body, pausing long below his waistline and licking her lips. To Ziva's growing amusement, her partner paled and suddenly shook his head.

"You know, the armchair looks really comfortable." he declined quickly before returning to the main area to grab his things. Ziva waited until the door to the bathroom closed and locked before she fell back on the bed, laughing hard, Monique joining her.

"How long did you know he had been standing there?" Lisson asked her, wiping at the moisture in her eyes when they recovered. Ziva drew a slow breath, calming herself down.

"Few minutes, I was sure when I said that Tim had moved onto other writing projects and I heard him snort under his breath." she revealed. The two women looked at each other before erupting into fresh laughter.


	28. another 9x20 tag

Exhausted, both emotionally and physically, Ziva stepped off the plane onto the tarmac. Tony was chatting with the two chaplains, but she hadn't contributed anything to their conversation for a while already. She wasn't interested in talking, she just wanted to go home and curl up in bed, maybe call Tim…

She didn't have to think about calling him, though, she came to find when they left the airport. He stood outside, hands in his pockets, waiting. Gibbs was with him, but the second Tim raised his head and their eyes met, he started walking towards her and hugged her tightly, cradling her head protectively. Ziva dropped her luggage and pulled him to her, clutching at his back and hiding her face in his shoulder. He let her go after what felt a much too short time, but when she looked around she realized that the others had already left.

"My car's parked down there." Tim gestured, pressing a soft kiss to her lips and grabbing her luggage before Ziva snaked her arm around his waist and went with him. Tim asked her where she wanted to go, his place or her own, but Ziva just shrugged her shoulders and stared out the passenger seat window, watching the scenery fly past until she started to recognize the buildings and realized that they were almost at her place. When he turned off the ignition, Ziva gave him a thankful smile and leaned over the middle console to give him a gentle kiss before getting out of the car.

Upstairs, she just tossed her bag down the hallway and disappeared into the bathroom to take a shower, stripping out of her clothes on the way down the hallway. She thought that he was going to join her but when she was washing the shampoo from her hair she realized that he wasn't going to, and suddenly, she was thankful for that, because the warm water running down her face made it impossible for her to hold back her tears any longer as the realization that she had most likely seen one of her best friends for the very last time today hit her full force. They had made a lot of enemies in Cartagena and Ziva didn't doubt that they'd go after Monique once they connected the bombing to her. And there was only so much firepower a person could withstand, which was nowhere near the capacity a cartel was able to dish out.

After stepping out of the shower, Ziva put her long and wet hair into a braid and went out in search for something to dress in. When she passed the living room, she caught a glimpse of Tim standing at the window, hand resting on the window-frame as he was staring down at the street. He turned his head when he heard her approach, naked feet hitting the hardwood floor and giving him a short warning before she wrapped her arms around him from behind, cuddling close. She felt him draw a deep breath and squeeze her hands tightly and blinked up at him in confusion when he turned around. Tim took her face in his hands and swallowed thickly, shaking his head as tears started brimming in his eyes and he bent his head to capture her lips. His kiss was desperate and needy and left her gasping when he broke it, resting his forehead against hers.

"God, I missed you." he muttered, gently stroking her cheek. "I was so worried when we heard that they had shot at you. I thought, I thought-" he cut himself off with a sharp shake of his head before claiming her lips again in a hurried kiss that sent a pang of longing through her. Before she knew it, her towel was lying on the floor, her back hit the wall and Tim lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his hips (when had she pulled down his pants?) and her head hitting the wall as she arched her back when he slid into her, silencing her loud moan with another heady kiss. He started moving carefully and Ziva groaned in frustration, trying to move her hips faster and urge him along as she lost the capacity to speak. Tim's lips left her mouth and started nib at her collarbone and she dug her nails into his shoulder when he hit her just right, cursing under her breath. Her orgasm came fast and raced through her, leaving her breathless and completely exhausted. It was only when she was able to move again that she realized Tim had stopped moving and was pressing her against the wall to keep them upright. Ziva reached up and ran her hands through his damp hair, feeling his hot and ragged breath on her skin as his shoulders started to shake. She slowly unwrapped her legs and he caught on, letting her slide down until her feet touched the ground again, pulling out of her in the process.

Tim wrapped an arm around her tightly and pressed a kiss to her temple, muttering an apology.

"It's okay." Ziva muttered, turning her head to catch his lips and starting to unbutton his shirt.

"Ziva…"

"I am going to be fine." she told him, brushing his shirt over his shoulders and running her hands over his chest. "I just want to touch you and feel you and forget, just for a little while. And I know you don't want to talk, either." she said, pulling him down into a kiss before taking his hand and slowly pulling him to the bedroom.

* * *

Ziva gave a soft sigh and turned her head into Tim's chest, kissing the skin. He ran his hand down her back and gave a soft sigh, toying with the ends of her hair.

"So, I heard Jimmy chose a Best Man." Ziva muttered, crinkling her nose. "Or is it woman?"

Her boyfriend gave a soft chuckle and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

"Yeah, seems like he did. Abby was pretty ecstatic about it." he muttered as Ziva sat up slightly to watch his face.

"And you?" she asked him, stroking his cheek. Tim shrugged.

"I knew he wouldn't pick me." he admitted. "We're not the closest of friends, and Tony's right, Jimmy looks at him as a big brother sort of thing. If anything, I also believed he'd ask Tony."

Ziva searched his face before kissing him gently.

"Well, Jimmy made his choice, and it wasn't Tony." she said. "And for what it's worth, I think Jimmy sees you as a good friend. It is just that he and Abby work together more often and have this sort of connection…" she trailed off when Tim gave a soft laugh.

"You don't have to make me feel better." he shook his head, brushing his nose against hers before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "I'm not disappointed. That way, I won't have to plan the bachelor party or give a speech. I can spend the wedding listening to the service, and watching you."

At that, Ziva gave a soft groan and hid her face in his chest briefly. "I still need to go dress shopping with Breena." she muttered, tearing another chuckle from her boyfriend. She swatted his chest.

"Well, if the tuxes are anything to go by..." Tim laughed, shaking his head. "Aw, don't look at me like that. You'll still be the most beautiful woman in the room to me, even if your dress looks horrible." he teased her and Ziva narrowed her eyes at him.

"If you even think about pitching 'total kitsch' as a motto for when we get married, I will make sure to step on your toes every dance we have." she glared at him, not realizing why Tim suddenly stared at her, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. "What?" she wondered when she realized his shocked and surprised expression. McGee swallowed thickly, tenderly brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"You said 'when we get married', not 'if'." he pointed out to her and Ziva's own eyes widened slightly.

"I guess I did." she nodded, biting her lip. "I did say I was reconsidering slowly." she reminded him and Tim nodded, pulling her up against him and kissing her. "Tim…" Ziva muttered between kisses as he flipped them over and started trailing kisses down her body. He raised his head from her collarbone.

"Huh?"

Ziva ran her hands through his hair and sighed. "Still not completely ready." she told him before capturing his lips in a kiss.

"I know." Tim nodded, pressing his forehead to hers as he shifted his hips and tore a groan from Ziva. "Lots of time for that to happen." he assured her before kissing her again, both deciding they were done with talking for the moment.


	29. 9x21 tag

"Do you think I'm a nerd?" Tim suddenly asked when they were done clearing the dinner table. Ziva turned around and frowned at him.

"Where is this coming from?" she asked him, closing the fridge as Tim sighed and reached up to rub his neck.

"When we were doing the interview earlier, the guy kept making these comments…" he answered, frowning down at Jethro when the dog pushed his empty food bowl through the kitchen until it was standing in front of his feet. "You already had dinner." Tim informed him and took the bowl, putting it back in its place, Jethro giving a low whine before trotting off, probably in search of one of his toys. "So, do you think I'm a geek?" he asked his girlfriend again, watching as Ziva shrugged.

"Yes, I guess." she told him, surprised by Tim's resigned sigh. "But that's not a bad thing." she assured him as they made their way to the living room.

"No?" Tim raised an eyebrow. "Because I keep getting the message that it is."

Ziva flopped down on the couch and turned to face him. "Well, to me, being a geek, a nerd, is about… passion." she said, furrowing her brows. "It's about liking something, having something grab your interest so that you start engaging with whatever it is. You learn stuff about it - in your case, technology. And honestly, we would have been lost on a lot of cases if it hadn't been for your knowledge." she told him, leaning over to press a quick kiss to his lips. "So no, I don't think being a geek is something bad. You could argue that I am one, too."

"You? A geek?" Tim smiled in amusement as Ziva narrowed her eyes at him.

"I am passionate about weapons." she reminded him. "So, if we employ my definition of having something grab your attention and making you learn things about a certain subject in an amount that surpasses the interest of other people then yes, I am a geek." Ziva stuck out her tongue at him, relieved to see Tim smile as he remembered the minutes long rant she had launched into when she had been reading one of her magazines the other day, or how her eyes lit up when she got her hands on a new throwing knife and found it perfectly balanced.

"Yeah, maybe you are." he allowed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder to pull her close. "Though weapons aren't usually geek territory." he added, making Ziva chuckled.

"Maybe not." she allowed. "But if I am a geek, then you are one, too. You are a geek, _my_ geek, and the only one who gets to tease you about that is me. Anyone else who does will have to answer to me." Ziva said with conviction, giving him a soft smile.

"Well, better send out that memo, then." Tim laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.


	30. filler up to 9x22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a filler concerning the Pilates weekend.

"Oh, that does sound wonderful." Ziva's voice carried through the door to her apartment. Tim frowned lightly, wondering briefly who she was talking to before deciding it didn't really matter and concentrating on the stove again. She had left him alone with the dinner preparations, saying that she needed to go for a run to work of some energy and taking Jethro off his hands in the process.

The first meal he had prepared for them together, almost a year ago –wow, time sure was flying- had been a disaster, and even though she had eaten most of it, he had noticed that Ziva hadn't enjoyed it. Ever since then, she had been subtly teaching him some cooking skills. Not in the "okay, new lesson" way, but by asking him to help her and showing him tasks, and he had found he really enjoyed cooking with her. With Ziva, it was more than simply preparing some meal, it was time spent together doing something productive, something that took their minds off work and let them engage in conversation, and they had slowly made their way across the globe by trying different dishes from different countries and cultures.

Tim eyed the salmon and decided that it was okay to turn it in the pan while adding the vegetables to another and turning down the rice. He turned around when he heard Jethro bark and began to make his way to the door to see what was going on when Ziva's key was inserted into the lock and her and the dog walked in.

"Hm, smells delicious." she exclaimed, pressing a quick kiss to Tim's lips before glimpsing into the pans briefly. "If you want to, you could add some lemongrass while I'm in the shower."

"It's almost done." Tim reminded her and Ziva wrinkled her nose.

"You can put it into the oven briefly to keep it warm. I am sorry, but I feel really gross, I promise I will hurry." she told him and was gone, the bathroom door shutting behind her. Jethro came in after her, carrying around his squeaky toy and Tim rolled his eyes, taking it away from the dog and putting it away before washing his hands and returning to their dinner. He had just put their plates into the oven when Ziva returned, her hair wrapped in a towel and dressed in fresh clothes.

"Feel better?" Tim smiled at her and Ziva gave a satisfied sigh.

"Much." she nodded, pulling out glasses from the cupboard and filling them with water as Tim got their plates and they sat down to eat.

"Who were you talking to, in the hallway?" he asked her halfway through the meal. Ziva took a sip of water to wash down her food.

"My landlady. I met her when I returned and checked for mail, and she got very excited about one of her letters." Ziva told him. "Her friend and she were planning this Pilates weekend and she finally got all the information for it."

"Sounds lovely. If you're into that sort of thing." Tim nodded and Ziva rolled her eyes at him. While they went running together at times, something that started back when he was trying to lose some weight, he did not join her for other workouts, especially not Pilates. It wasn't his cup of tea and that was okay, but sometimes he would tease her about it.

"It is. They're not that cheap, though, and now her friend had broken her leg and she'll have to cancel. These things aren't that much fun alone."

Tim watched her push around some of the fish and got an idea.

"Why don't you ask if you could take the friend's spot?" he suggested and Ziva's head snapped up.

"But… it's the weekend we are not on call; we said we'd go for a hike and explore one of the other villages. I was looking forward to it." she trailed off. Tim shrugged lightly.

"Yeah, well, I was looking forward to it, too, but… if you wanna go, it's okay, really. I mean, we go on runs together, but I'm really not a Pilates guy and if you say that those weekends are not as much fun going alone…"

Ziva watched him intensely, leaning back in her chair. "And you would really be okay with this? Me spending time with someone else, even though we made plans to be together?" she asked.

"Of course!" Tim exclaimed. "Ziva, if it were an issue, I wouldn't have suggested. Really, it's fine if you want to go away on some Pilates thing, we can go on that hike some other time." he assured her. To his surprise, Ziva got up from her seat, went around the table and hugged him tightly before kissing him deeply.

"I love you." she told him, running her hands through his hair. "And hey, if I really go on that trip, you could go to that LAN party you were reading about two days ago." she said, smirking when Tim's ears turned pink.

_Busted._


	31. 9x22 tag

Tim wrapped his arms around her from behind, pressing a soft kiss to the back of Ziva's neck as she folded up her uniform. Ziva gave a soft laugh and wrapped her hands around his wrists, holding on.

"I am not going to put these on for you." she muttered and Tim chuckled into her neck before shaking his head.

"Nah, not the kind of uniform I'm into. Though you did look rather sexy in it." he told her, nuzzling her neck. Ziva smiled softly as she remembered just what kind of uniform her boyfriend was into and what had happened when she had put one of them on before she turned in his arms and kissed him. She felt Tim's hand slide lower until they found their way into the back pockets of her pants, making Ziva raise an eyebrow. He wasn't usually this… cuddly. Well, he was, but in a different way. This was more playful than anything, and while she enjoyed it, she wondered what had caused it.

"I did… something." Tim told her, rubbing his nose against hers.

"Uh-huh?" Ziva murmured before kissing him again, holding onto him. Spending time on a carrier with hundreds of other people had been tiring, and having to deal with Tony's sour mood and Stan's constant flirting had not made it any easier. But since coming home and having Tim around again, she could feel the tension fall from her bit by bit, recharging her energy.

"Yeah. Remember you telling me that you wanted to kill Tony because he still had those pictures?" her boyfriend grinned at her. Ziva furrowed her brows and slowly nodded. She had called Tim after they were done with the suspect and just vented, needing to blow off some steam before she ended up shoving Tony overboard. She couldn't believe that he still had those damn pictures and would actually threaten her with making them publicly accessible. Not that she thought that he would go through with it, but the mere mention of it had made her blood boil.

"Well, I may have hacked his computer. And replaced those pictures." Tim told her with an amused grin. Ziva's eyebrows rose to meet her hairline.

"Replaced with what?"

"Well, remember my friend Simon, who cosplays as the troll from _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_?" Tim started and Ziva's lips turned upward before she frowned.

"Are you saying I look like a troll?" she narrowed her eyes at Tim, who spluttered.

"No! No, I'd never-" he stammered before Ziva erupted into giggles and pulled him down for another kiss.

"Relax, I was just joking." she smiled against his lips before kissing him again gently. "Thank you, Tim." she murmured and Tim's hold on her tightened.

"No big deal." he told her, reaching up to run a hand through Ziva's curls. "He deserved it." Tim added, sounding rather angry himself.

"He will not be happy." Ziva sighed, tilting her head to look up at him before stroking Tim's cheek. "I missed you." she muttered, pulling him down for a kiss.

"I missed you, too." her boyfriend nodded, resting his forehead against hers as he help her close, happy to have her in his arms again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tim's comment about the uniform is in reference to the story ["Qapla"](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7963581/1/Qapla)


	32. 9x23 tag

"Hey, you about done?" Tim called to his girlfriend, checking his reflection in the floor length mirror that was one of the sliding doors to her dresser. Ziva didn't answer him, but the constant sound of the blow dryer running did not stop, so he figured she hadn't heard him, anyway. Tim checked his watch and decided to check his cell phone afterwards. He had two new texts from Abby, and after a quick look at them responded by telling her that they still had almost an hour until they would have to meet with the rest of the group and reminding her that it was not at all his fault that her bachelor party plans had gotten postponed.

He looked up at the sound of the blow dryer stopping, quickly walking over to the bathroom and lightly knocking on the door.

"We still have to get to DC." he reminded her and heard Ziva drop something.

"I am aware of that." she told him after cursing lightly. There was a rustle of fabric and then the door opened, and Tim found his jaw hitting the floor.

"Wow." he breathed as he took in her appearance and Ziva laughed, blushing lightly.

"Thank you. Zip me up?" she asked him, turning around. He couldn't resist and ran his fingertips down her spine, making her shiver. "As much as I like where this could go," she muttered, her voice suddenly husky, "I think it would be save to say that Gibbs will skin us alive if we are late."

"Yeah, shame, really." Tim sighed and carefully pulled up the zipper to her black dress. Ziva turned around and kissed him, pressing herself against him.

"Just think that you will be the one who gets to _un_ zip me later." she murmured against his lips before disappearing into the bedroom briefly before she returned, holding up two jackets.

"Um, the lighter one." Tim decided and Ziva rolled her eyes at his choice of color description before putting it on. "Great, let's go."

"I still need shoes." Ziva reminded him with a laugh and Tim groaned, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling. "Hey, I saw that." she told him, disappearing down the hallway and inspecting her not unimpressive collection. A year ago, he would never have guessed that Ziva, of all people, could gush over shoes, but she had proven that a few times during the course of their relationship. It wasn't that she spent incredulous amounts of money on them (though he was unwilling to guess just how much exactly those she had were worth, but she had told him that most came from thrift stores, so it couldn't be too bad, right) or took unreasonably long to pick a pair - actually, she took half the time to chose an entire outfit that it would take Abby to settle on a choker and wristbands, really. Still he would love to be on location before Gibbs showed up and he got his ass handed to him.

When he grabbed her gun from the coffee table and followed her, he found himself appreciating the view of Ziva bending down to adjust the strap of her moderate high heels. Tim swallowed thickly and forced himself to calm down, wondering if he should put his head into the fridge briefly or something, seeing as it was too late for a cold shower.

Ziva straightened and smirked at seeing the look on her boyfriend's face.

"Seeing something you like?" she asked him and Tim nodded.

"Yeah. Very much." he confirmed, holding out her gun as Ziva grabbed the keys and opened the door to let him out so she could lock up, declaring that she would be the one driving and making Tim groan again.

"You were the one who wanted to be on time." she reminded him with a twinkle in her eyes and jiggling the keys.


	33. 9x24 tag

"I have been thinking." Ziva said as she caught Tim in the break room for a few minutes. She was aware that this wasn't the greatest setting to discuss what had been on her mind ever since her conversation with Tony, but her thoughts had been circling around this topic, and she felt that she had to get them out or risk blurting them the next time Gibbs came asking for new results.

"Huh?" Tim asked distractedly, whacking the vending machine. "This thing ate my dollar!" he exclaimed in frustration. Ziva rolled her eyes and kicked against the side of the machine, making it drop something. Tim reached down and got the Mars bar, making a face at it before sighing and holding it out to her. Ziva shook her head.

"Sorry. What did you say?" her boyfriend asked as he found another dollar in his wallet and drew a deep breath before starting the task of inserting the crumbled bill into the machine. Ziva blinked in surprise, waiting briefly, but he made no indication that he would stop what he was doing and give her his undivided attention at the moment. So she worked up her courage, or at least, she tried to as she found her irritation suddenly building quickly.

"That I have been thinking, and- could you at least look at me?" Ziva demanded in exasperation when he continued to focus on the task of getting himself fed. Tim's head snapped up in surprise as Ziva's eyes widened and she took a deep breath. "I am sorry, I… forget it." she shook her head, her nerves getting the better of her as she grabbed the bill from him and inserted it into the machine before punching in the number for the Nutter Butters. When the bar fell down, Tim made no move to get it. Instead, he gently touched her arm and made her turn around.

"I'm sorry. What is it you were thinking about?" he asked her, his green eyes apologetic. Ziva drew a deep breath and bit her lip.

"Us." she whispered, closing her eyes briefly as she searched for her courage and exhaled slowly before looking at him again. G-d, she loved him so much… She reached out and gently stroked his cheek, a soft smile starting to appear on Tim's features after the brief flash of panic had washed over them. "I want to get married." Ziva husked, swallowing thickly against the lump in her throat. Tim blinked, his smile crumbling.

"You… what?" he breathed and Ziva clenched her jaw. Not the reaction she had been hoping for, but then again, her declaration did come as somewhat of a surprise. Just weeks ago she had told him that, while she was allowing for the possibility of them getting married in the future, she was nowhere near ready for that big of a step at the moment.

"I want to get married." she repeated. "To you. I want us to get married." she clarified when he still looked at her like she had lost her mind.

"Are you… proposing?" Tim frowned and Ziva shrugged.

"Well, yes, I guess I am." she allowed, frustration starting to build. "Do you want me to go down on one knee?" she asked him, growing impatient and increasingly nervous. Again, Tim blinked, slowly shaking his head.

"No. No, I… jeez, you're-" he cut himself off before wrapping his arms around her tightly as his lips descended on hers in a passionate and needy kiss. Now _that_ was a reaction she could accept, Ziva thought before kissing him back, tangling her hands in his hair.

"God, I love you." he breathed against her lips, holding onto her between kisses.

"So, is that a yes?" Ziva got in, holding onto him. Tim broke their lip lock and stared at her with an incredulous expression.

"Are you kidding me? Of course!" he exclaimed, taking her face into his hands. "Yes, I will marry you, Ziva David." he promised her, grinning when Ziva's lips tugged upwards and her face split into a happy smile as she felt a huge weight lift off her chest. Why had she been so nervous about this, anyway?

"Good." she nodded, pulling him in for another kiss.

"Ugh, guys!" Tony exclaimed as he walked in on them then, scrunching up his face. "Break's over, come on. The boss is pissed and I'm tired of being the only target in sight." he told them. Tim rolled his eyes as he reluctantly let go of his girlfriend, no, _his fiancée_ and the three made their way back to the squad room. He needed to get her a ring, as soon as they caught Dearing, he would move it at the top of his to do list.

"Why are you two grinning like that?" Tony asked them, narrowing his eyes at them suspiciously when he noticed the happy mood his co-workers were in all of a sudden. He couldn't see a reason for the huge smiles on their faces, seeing as the lunatic Dearing was still running around.

"Nothing. Just happy in general." Ziva shrugged.

"Yeah, impending weddings make me all fuzzy on the inside." Tim added in a teasing tone, his eyes finding her dark ones and delighting in the joy he found in them.

* * *

"Get out! Everyone out of the building!" Tony called, helping Ziva shoo the other people along. "Okay, come on, we need to get out of here." he told her grabbing her arm. Ziva nodded and made to follow him when she suddenly froze.

"Ziva, come on, this isn't-"

"Tim." she breathed, her eyes widening in fear.

"Probie's fine, come you, we have to get out of here." Tony insisted, trying to pull her along. She stared at his hand before yanking her arm from his grasp.

"Ziva!"

"Go on, I'll just check that he got out." she told him, already sprinting down the hallway towards the bullpen.

* * *

Tim rose from his seat and yanked the USB drive out of the socket, hoping that the files didn't get damaged by the abrupt removal. He pocketed it and eyed his backpack before deciding that he was going to be faster without it. The squad room was nearly deserted. He took a step towards the elevator before remembering that the director's car was parked out front. If it went up, it would be safer to take the back exit. There was another staircase there, if he hurried he could probably make it…

He turned and started jogging in the other direction, running into someone just as he rounded the corner.

"Dammit, I'm sorry-" he started, steadying the other person. "Ziva?" he breathed, panic bubbling up inside of him. She wasn't supposed to be here, she should have left with Tony minutes ago.

"I wanted to check that you were gone, and-"

"We've got to get out of here." Tim cut her off. He grabbed her hand and pulled her along before Ziva picked up the speed and they started running again. As they reached the end of the hallway, Tim slammed his hand on the elevator button in frustration, but Ziva shook her head.

"Fire drill." she threw at him before opening the door to the stairwell, waiting for Tim to slip in before she went after him, casting a last look down the hallway. They had barely made it down one floor when the force of the explosion shook the building. Tim had reached the landing and stopped, his arms going out as he tried to keep his balance, but Ziva had been mid-step and lost her footing, crashing into him and sending them to the floor as the ceiling started raining down on them and the lights went out...


End file.
